If you've ever felt utterly helpless and scared...

How did you accept it or heal it?

Watching my dad in hospice as of a week tomorrow, it's been PAINSTAKING. He has aggressive cancer that could not be treated with chemotherapy. Being a stroke victim too and MS made him in a high percentage of dying from chemo than the disease itself. He's been sleeping all day , most days, but today at noon he was awake an hour..that was huge.

But tonight he was so weak again, and saying nonsensical things. He was moaning in pain and just seemed so uncomfortable..
Watching this SHIT cancer take over his entire body and mind, I feel HELPLESS. And the one tiny thing that was positive was he was on a steroid that helped inflammation.now hospice took that away because the side effects outweigh the benefits. I just am mad that we can't do anything to truly save someone ..and one day soon he could pass and I dont know how Ill cope🙁

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Stephie · 22-25, F

What hurts most is the fact that you know that you cannot help him despite all your will to do so.

Uncertainty is like gangrene that eats you up bit by bit. Your emotional pain is just as bad as his physical pain because nobody can take it away from you or from him.

Your healing process will only start after his departure to a better world. Only then will you be able to work on yourself. It is harsh to say but sadly, that is how it is.

You found some great moral support here at SW from some truly caring people. While we cannot hold your hand or his, we can help you alleviate your emotional stress.

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@Stephie I think that's my issue too.. I HOPE there's a better world, but it's hard to know. I'm agnostic. I really do wish I was not agnostic right now. It would make me feel calmer. But perhaps there certainly is another world after death, I do hope. Thank you for your words friend 🪻

pdockal · 56-60, M

@Baybreeze

There are ways to feel calm without religion

Stephie · 22-25, F

@pdockal True, there are a number of ways such as meditation but when your heart is bleeding from pain, those moments where you could try to make the void in your mind are very difficult.

pdockal · 56-60, M

@Stephie

That is true

My comment was more about being agnostic
Religion doesn't necessarily help
Having someone to talk to (professionally or trusted friend) works the best

@ least in my experiences