Best remedy for bum burn after huge terd of constipation...

I ate chillie. Burnt going down.
Farting like a duck on razor blades.
Bum sore as a pig whistle on a bbq grill.
How do i relieve pain and burn? I hate anything in or near bottoms up

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HotPizza71 · 51-55, M Best Comment

You're in your 40s..surely going on a public platform to talk about your SHITS.
You should know how to deal with your bodily functions and it's reactions to spicy food 😜

mindlessdrifter · M

@HotPizza71 LOL, you are hilarious. That is a great answer

Matt85 · 36-40, M

Gosh that sounds terrible.

thatbuggerpaul · 100+, M

Lube your middle finger with some TCP ointment and apply gently to the affected area .............instant relief 😁

CloudAngel80 · 41-45, F

@thatbuggerpaul where do u get TCP and whats it stand for or cost?

thatbuggerpaul · 100+, M

@CloudAngel80 Sadly I have no idea what it stands for but I know my mum slapped it on everything from boils to sunburn and it worked a treat . I'm in the UK and I think we can get it at most pharmacies so if you are in Merica you could try CVS

pride49 · 31-35, M

Eat some milk based stuff. Milk coats the skin and can protect from hot stuff. And shit it till it's gone xD

mindlessdrifter · M

Sounds like you might have to see a doctor

CloudAngel80 · 41-45, F

@mindlessdrifter no health insurance

mindlessdrifter · M

@CloudAngel80 Too bad @CloudAngel80 Hope you get to feeling better

CloudAngel80 · 41-45, F

@mindlessdrifter thank u..

Teslin · M

OMG !! I hope you are feeling better soon.
I can only think of Aloe as a possible relief.

TotesNFC · 31-35, M

Farts are great but not when they hurt, I'm sorry

kwood1 · 61-69, M

Nice similies 😳

NativePortlander1970 ·

Aloe vera burn gel from Walmart, it's green in a small bottle in the first aid aisle, it also has menthol to help sooth the burn, you will have to lube it to sooth it, wear a pad so you wont stain your undies.
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