Better off alone

@ninalanyon Very well put Nina

@constance I think many of, most perhaps, have all sorts of preconceived ideas about how life is supposed to be. Usually these aren't our own ideas but things absorbed unconsciously from the people and media around us. And when some momentous event occurs we try to fit the new reality into those ideas. But it doesn't always work and at least sometimes we need to take step back and consider what we need to do now rather than what we thought society meant we should do.

For instance: when I retired I thought I would be dreadfully bored; all my retired colleagues were busily doing freelance work, and plainly enjoying it. I did a couple of gigs but eventually realized that forty years of work was enough for a lifetime for me and gave it up in favour of a life of leisure.

@awildsheepschase I tried counseling a couple times and honestly it didn’t help at all due to my own faults opening up is not something a 50 year old man from the south knows how to do plus I don’t know how to pt me first so I figure just stay stuck in limbo

@Fillingthevoid A line to empathize with your posts. My husband died 3 years ago. At first, I was angry when well-meaning folks would tell me that I would feel better with time. I didn’t want to feel better, I didn’t want grief to soften, grief was a way of staying attached to him, and attached to him (after 40 years) was all I could want. I didn’t go to grief counseling per se, but I did start therapy, mostly to vent to another adult about all this stuff (money problems, inability to focus, the list goes on). She said, “Tell me about him.” And boy, did I. And I needed to have that (everyone is different). Slowly I started to make peace with what is. I won’t ever like it, I won’t ever have what we had again, but I can make peace with it. Plus, I have a dog with a set of demands, so I had a minimum that had to be done.

Maybe limbo is what grief is showing you right now. That’s ok. No time table, no schedule. Rest there as long as you need to.

And if you feel like it, tell me about her.

@hinesight I’m truly sorry for your loss

@WonderGirl I think women are more intelligent this way, they know their feelings more, where I fear the author is seaching for an escape while knowing in his heart it's wrong for him.

@WonderGirl I tried talking to someone and was very honest and upfront that I didn’t have enough of me to give anyone but they started getting feelings so I cut it off and somehow was the bad guy so again for me right now it’s not worth it

@Banksy83 I do woodworking and just started doing epoxy projects

@RogueLodyte how is your partner not responsible for your happiness! Please don’t take this as a controlling man but the way I see it is if out of 7 billion people you say I want that one then yes it’s my job to make sure you don’t regret it and do my best to keep you happy

@Fillingthevoid So these women that you are pining to can't be happy without YOU? 👍🏽 Got it.

Live & learn.