Do you have a guide to cope with emotions or do you learn as you go?

dealing with bereavement, and the way it impacts other people too, dealing with the anger, the powerlessness. I'm learning how to protect my sanity, but it's hard and I wonder if some counselling might have helped.

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whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

A very recent odd experience. I thought I was dealing/coping with the pain of having to place my wife and lifelong partner in care a year ago. Keeping busy and dealing with my own issues..
Then I stumbled on a streaming TV show called "Zoes Extraordinary Playlist". It only ran two seasons, and the core is that a girl starts hearing peoples true feelings they are hiding as popular songs they are singing just for her. (Yes. Corny I know) But the damned thing got under my guard. I was following along with all the issues (as you do) when this person would break into a song I knew well defining a problem I could relate to and suddenly I am crying my eyes out.. I was horrified.. And it happened again.. and again. Some of issues were relatable and I fell right into it.. The thing is, it was cathartic. I feel purged of a lot of stuff I didnt know I was storing up.. I mentioned it to my daughter later and she is also into it now. Maybe its just us and the particular issues we faced. But for what its worth.. It helped. (PS. Series 1 only,, Series 2 became just a bunch of song and dance numbers)😷

ninalanyon · 61-69, T

@whowasthatmaskedman I think too may of us try to put a brave face on things. We should be allowed, encouraged, to grieve. I cried every day for two years when my wife died and I think allowing myself that helped me come to terms with it.

For what little it's worth you have my sympathy, in some ways your situation is the harder one,

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@ninalanyon Thanks. She has her own reality and that worked until she wanted to do dangerous things and I had to say No.. If you every told a Scot "No", you will know how that went.. But as a nurse in aged care her reality fits right in with her history, so she is happier there than she was with me in the end. No regrets..😷
As for me, this purging has me looking at the long planned but never taken road trip around Oz. I was going with her. But no reason I cant still do it solo. I will have to think it through..

OluwoleFemiJacob · 26-30, M

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Bereavement can knock the wind out of you in ways people don’t warn you about — not just the sadness, but the anger, the helplessness, the way other people’s grief collides with yours. That stuff is heavy. You’re not weak for finding it hard. You’re human.

EarthlingWise

@OluwoleFemiJacob Thank you.

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

I've learned that when you have negative emotions and want to do negative things, it's better to just not act. Be a lazy slob until you feel better and have good ideas. I know, groundbreaking, but when you're feeling negative every negative idea sounds great, so you have to identify it despite your emotions. I've gotten good at that.

TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T

Alcohol.

Cheers

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