Support group tonight

Well tonight was much easier for me to go. No panic attacks no anxiety. I just knew we needed to go. I didn't share but Joel did. To listen to his story and struggles as a teenager and young man was powerful. He has his eating disorder under control but he works at it. He never misses a group until our lives go so busy. Listening to him talk tonight I knew us going back wasn't just for me, but for him too.

After the meeting we got that sour apple vodka he wanted and two nice cigars and we went to a park. It was perfect. We sat on a bench, he enjoyed the drinks way more than I did, we talked, we laughed, we even cried a little. It was just what we needed.

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HowtoDestroyAngels · 46-50, M

I'm glad the support group is working for you. I am having a lot of problems in my life right now, most notably my health and my job. Although I don't drink anymore or attend AA like I did in the beginning (It's been almost 12 years now), I am going to start going to a counselor to help me out. It's offered as part of my Employee Assistance Program in my insurance. I figured that I need to do something to help me quickly because I am starting to feel like I'm going insane. Again, good job for you, my friend. Even though you didn't talk, listening seemed to be the key.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@HowtoDestroyAngels I hope you do. It really helps me. I haven't shared yet (that's some dark trauma I'd be talking about) but it's good to know you aren't alone. There are others that are struggling or use to struggle. It's good to hear them talk about what works and what didn't. It's also good to hear that they failed and picked themselves up again. When I fail I beat myself up over and obsessed over it. I am working on it. And it might sound silly but my goal for doing something for myself everyday is helping. Taking that early walk, listening to music and not thinking about everything I need to do feels so good. Maybe something like that would help you

HowtoDestroyAngels · 46-50, M

@Cigarguy101 I give myself at least two hours a night to listen to music or walk. It seems to be helping too. Maybe I should do something else? My wife has been my support group so far.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@HowtoDestroyAngels if it's helping keep doing it. Maybe add to it, like have a special drink or snack while you're listening to music or walking. I'm glad your wife is there for you. I couldn't do this without Joel, but sometimes it good to talk to someone that is there for you but doesn't love you like a partner does lol. My therapist will sometimes say something and I'm like wtf but it's something I need to hear. Sometimes I know Joel wouldn't say.

HootyTheNightOwl

Well done!!!

Hopefully, this positive experience makes it easier for you to go to your next session, too.

Just take baby steps for now if that's what you need... you can work on sharing your story later when you are more comfortable with going and being there.

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Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@HootyTheNightOwl no I get that but sometimes I forget that he has struggles too. He's my rock and he knows what I need. But hearing him share last night just reminded me that he has his days too. I just wish it didn't include apple vodka lol.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@HootyTheNightOwl and the sitting down at eat is hard. It's all from the trauma of what my mother did. And that is tied in with my tics and outbursts. I sit down and try and eat but as soon as I have one I push my plate away and get up and starting pacing (another on of my tics) I know no one is going to hit me, or take my food but as soon as I have one I get so anxious. I just can't get over it. It's why Joel is coming to therapy with me today. My doctor wants the 3 of to work on goals for helping me get over this PTSD

HootyTheNightOwl

@Cigarguy101 It doesn't matter that no one is going to hit you or take your food away from you now... if that's what you are used to people doing to you at any point in your life, it's going to be difficult for you to break it now.

And, like you just said, the anxiety will be feeding into your tics and making them worse rather than better.

Is the pacing your way to self regulate, like I rock to self regulate???

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