Support group tonight

Well tonight was much easier for me to go. No panic attacks no anxiety. I just knew we needed to go. I didn't share but Joel did. To listen to his story and struggles as a teenager and young man was powerful. He has his eating disorder under control but he works at it. He never misses a group until our lives go so busy. Listening to him talk tonight I knew us going back wasn't just for me, but for him too.

After the meeting we got that sour apple vodka he wanted and two nice cigars and we went to a park. It was perfect. We sat on a bench, he enjoyed the drinks way more than I did, we talked, we laughed, we even cried a little. It was just what we needed.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

HootyTheNightOwl

Well done!!!

Hopefully, this positive experience makes it easier for you to go to your next session, too.

Just take baby steps for now if that's what you need... you can work on sharing your story later when you are more comfortable with going and being there.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@HootyTheNightOwl honestly tonight was all about Joel and what he needed. I could tell how important it was for him. And to drink that sour apple vodka lol. I have a lot of issues and needs but I can't and won't let them overshadow what he needs.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Cigarguy101 Your healing journey is just as important as Joel's, though... you both have to heal and be healed together.

Of course, that doesn't mean that you have to take from him and what he needs - but just be mindful of you and make sure that you're getting to progress with him.

Your struggles to eat at home with your family matter just as much.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@HootyTheNightOwl no I get that but sometimes I forget that he has struggles too. He's my rock and he knows what I need. But hearing him share last night just reminded me that he has his days too. I just wish it didn't include apple vodka lol.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@HootyTheNightOwl and the sitting down at eat is hard. It's all from the trauma of what my mother did. And that is tied in with my tics and outbursts. I sit down and try and eat but as soon as I have one I push my plate away and get up and starting pacing (another on of my tics) I know no one is going to hit me, or take my food but as soon as I have one I get so anxious. I just can't get over it. It's why Joel is coming to therapy with me today. My doctor wants the 3 of to work on goals for helping me get over this PTSD

HootyTheNightOwl

@Cigarguy101 It doesn't matter that no one is going to hit you or take your food away from you now... if that's what you are used to people doing to you at any point in your life, it's going to be difficult for you to break it now.

And, like you just said, the anxiety will be feeding into your tics and making them worse rather than better.

Is the pacing your way to self regulate, like I rock to self regulate???