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What dating tips/advice do you have?

For me, who hasn't yet dated strangers I'll be meeting for the first time. I've only ever dated one guy since I was 22 and we were acquaintances for a while before dating. That relationship lasted 14 years. It's over now, I'm 36 and new to the app-based dating scene.

I have an upcoming date with this guy I've never met in person and I'm kinda scared.
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Magenta · F
When much younger I dated much and many, but have not dated for many years now, and I hear and see it has defo changed. They don't seem to be doing it the quality old fashioned way. I've never joined any type of dating site, etc.. seems a bit scary to me. The modern world has made everything so freaking complicated. I prefer flesh and blood.

I'd probably hide somewhere and observe for a bit before approaching. 🫣
Meet in a very public place. Keep it simple, be natural. Keep your instincts sharp. And best wishes.
Magenta · F
@DelightfulyDelectablyDelicious But of course Mr. incorrigible. Doubt this will be enough for your appetite. 🤭
@Magenta It’s a good start 🙌😏. You know me and my insatiable appetite 🤭
greencompass · 36-40, F
@Magenta thank you. I am thinking of moving the venue to a public place.
Convivial · 26-30, F
Understandable... It can be scary but realise he's potbelly just as scared ;)

I think a better approach is to get involved with life doing the things you enjoy... Nothing more attractive than a happy person🤗
greencompass · 36-40, F
@Convivial thanks for pointing out how he might be feeling too. Hadn't thought of that.

Doing my best trying to be happier😌
Convivial · 26-30, F
@greencompass just a tip.... Happiness comes from you... Not him ;)
Adogslife · 61-69, M
Just relax and have fun. Times change. Karma doesn’t always throw the ideal man in front of you. The app allows you to cull through the crowd a bit and, at least, have a reasonable introduction.

I met my current wife on Match in late 17’ and was married in July 23’. I think using a paid site helps weed out those that aren’t serious, at least that was my logic. It seemed to work.
greencompass · 36-40, F
@Adogslife thank you. Yes I'm experiencing that culling, one of the more convenient features of the apps for sure.

Inspiring. You give me hope. I understand your logic. I'm glad it worked out for you💜
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
Take your fully charged phone with you.
Tell friends where you are going,what time you are meeting up and who with.
Meet in public.
Then just have fun with it.Don't overthink or place pressure on yourself.Be ready to walk if you feel that your date is not working out.
greencompass · 36-40, F
@tallpowerhouseblonde thank you, good thinking about the phone! I will inform my people the details👍🏻
swirlie · 31-35
I have SO much to tell you that I don't know where to begin. I've been on a perpetual dating scene since I was a teenager because I enjoy it. Anyone I've ever met, I've never broken up with. That's part of the secret to a happy life is to not actually break up, but instead just move on and always leave the door open to all past relationships.

That doesn't mean you'll get back together with those past guys, but it does mean that you can willingly be in the same room with them should your paths ever cross again in the future.

The problem with app dating is that the whole concept replicates 'blind dating'. The difference between crossing paths with some cute guy in a supermarket and meeting that same guy on a blind date (which was set up by someone else on your behalf), is the spontaneity aspect.

On a blind date (or app date), nothing is spontaneous. Everything is pre-organized and in ALL cases, you are playing a game of Russian Roulette with yourself. You know absolutely nothing about the guy until you're face to face in what can be an uncomfortable situation (like a restaurant).

If you saw the same guy in a supermarket for example, you'd always have the option of just walking away if the energy wasn't right or something felt 'off' to you. In an app date or blind date situation, it's somewhat difficult to walk out of a restaurant or to simply NOT go to that restaurant as planned once you're face to face with him.

I quite frankly do not recommend blind dating nor do I recommend app dating unless you know in advance what the guy looks like and have spoken to him for at least 5 minutes through direct voice interaction (not text messaging).
swirlie · 31-35
@greencompass
I appreciate it especially that you're experienced in the dating scene and enjoy it.

The reason I enjoy it is because I discovered a social tactic during my teen years called 'the art of manifestation'. It works on the premise that we are what we 'think', we have what we 'think' and we always attract to ourselves that which we 'think'.

With that in mind, you will either attract or repel, it's always one or the other.

That is why blind dating or using dating apps is so completely unnecessary.

I'm not wanting to tell you what to do here, but going to a movie on a 'first date' is actually a waste of valuable time... regardless of where that movie is being played. As long as your attention is focused on the movie, you are not focused on each other. At the end of the movie, you still don't really know each other. Awkward moments follow.

Watch a movie at his house after you've dated a few times, but never on a first date is my recommendation.

Secondly, going to HIS place to watch a Netflix movie the first time you meet the guy is not even recommended by the police. The problem is, because you agreed to be inside his residence, it also means from a legal perspective that you are 'consenting' to whatever takes place inside HIS home.

If you get raped while in his residence, you'll have a hard time explaining your case if you ever reported it, assuming you were still alive after the fact and were able to report it.

If you really are needing to watch a movie with him, that should only be done in a movie theater, not his house, since you don't know the guy. Besides, if things go sour inside the movie theater, you can always walk out and call a taxi to take you home but that may not be so easy if you're inside his house.
greencompass · 36-40, F
@swirlie thank you very much for this swirlie. You've given me much to think about and I think I'm gunna suggest to him changing the venue and activity.
swirlie · 31-35
@greencompass
I remain at your service! 🙂‍↕
SpectralMourning · 41-45, M
Just unapologetically be you and if he's buying don't forget to order dessert.
greencompass · 36-40, F
@SpectralMourning unapologetically. Ok🫡 will save room for dessert!
SJones48 · 41-45, M
I’ve never dated but be yourself, think positive and enjoy yourself
greencompass · 36-40, F
@SJones48 thank you, I will try despite the nerves😅
JackJames · M
Just be yourself and just have fun. Do t do anything you’re not comfortable with. If they get upset because you’re not comfortable, then you don’t need to see them again.
greencompass · 36-40, F
@JackJames thank you💜
exexec · 70-79, C
What worked for me was finding her early and never letting her go. I have no idea other than that.
greencompass · 36-40, F
@exexec that was my strategy. But he let me go. No choice now but being on my own.
exexec · 70-79, C
@greencompass Good luck! I hope you find the right person.
greencompass · 36-40, F
@exexec thank you💜
Younameit · F
I am not too experienced on it, but I guess; just be yourself and wear deodorant : )
greencompass · 36-40, F
@Younameit thank you I will try to remember that!! 😄
Offthetop · 56-60, M
Brave new world. It sounds trite but my advice is to just relax. Don’t have any expectations.
greencompass · 36-40, F
@Offthetop thank you, yes new world indeed. There were no dating apps then like they have today.
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
It can be fun. Get your girlfriend to call you 30 mins into the date in case you need to tell him you have to leave for a family emergency. (wink wink )
greencompass · 36-40, F
@Jenny1234 😉
@Jenny1234 so that's what those calls on all those final dates were about..! 😭
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
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greencompass · 36-40, F
@BrandonWyatt36 I appreciate your perspective, thanks for sharing.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
Please be careful
greencompass · 36-40, F
@ScreamingFox thank you. I've asked to meet at a restaurant first and he wasn't inclined. So I postponed it, hopefully to cool things down.
Bring cookies 🍪😃

greencompass · 36-40, F
Ferric67 · M
When’s the date?
greencompass · 36-40, F
@Ferric67 this Saturday. I've asked him to go to a restaurant first, but he wasn't inclined so I told him I need to postpone. No reply yet🤷🏻‍♀
Prettybratbi1tch · 26-30, F
ALWAYS Meet in public places
greencompass · 36-40, F
@Prettybratbi1tch uh oh. Made my first mistake already, going to meet at his place🤦🏻‍♀ thank you!
@greencompass No.. don't do that please!
RosaMarie · 46-50, F
Constantly ask yourself if he's better than your vibrator.
RosaMarie · 46-50, F
@greencompass I know it eliminates 99% of guys, but it's a good metric.
RosaMarie · 46-50, F
@greencompass This may be why I'm still single at 47
greencompass · 36-40, F
@RosaMarie but you'd know if you ever find one who passed, that they're a keeper🙂

 
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