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Spoke to a guy the other day, he was smart, funny and interesting.

Only problem was that he was really distracted by the "ripped" and attractive guys online who he says, "get all the attention from women". So distracted in fact, that he couldn't seem to believe I was actually interested in him. I realise that a lot of people who are looking for love are so focused on what others have, that they miss opportunities that are right in front of their noses.

In the end I decided not to go on a date with him. I think people at the very least need to be ok with themselves before trying to be with someone else. It's kinda scary just how many don't even like themselves very much, but they are out there asking others to fall in love with them. 馃槓馃挃
WanderingProfessor56-60, M
The imagery of porn, advertising, and filtered photos on dating sights messes with people's self-images and distorts their sense of what relationships are all about.

Maybe it would be worth giving this guy a chance, but I respect your choice.
KuroNeko41-45, F
[@939246,WanderingProfessor] I told him how ironic the conversation was, plus on top of that he had made a post about how he never gets any attention, WHILE we were talking! Sorry but it's just not a rabbit hole I wanna go down. I have had my life wrecked by insecure guys quite enough.
[@1095867,KuroNeko] That was very disrespectful, imo. He sounds like a teenage girl posting "nobody wants me" on her Facebook page while ignoring everyone who tries to reach her because what she really means is "I get no attention from the one specific person I want to notice me."
tk999941-45, M
Yes they do need to be happy with themselves first. If not they will only drag you down with them
tk999941-45, M
[@1095867,KuroNeko] Me too, it鈥檚 no fun and it鈥檚 exhausting
KuroNeko41-45, F
[@1135204,tk9999] I don't have time for it anymore.
tk999941-45, M
[@1095867,KuroNeko] Good, me neither. It鈥檚 unnecessary
ravenwind4346-50, F
It's amazing how people stereotype others in terms of what they find attractive, just assuming there is one or two perfected images and that's all that one might be interested in. Myself I'm not attracted to ripped guys physically. Did he even bother to ask what you like?
KuroNeko41-45, F
[@10807,ravenwind43] The irony is he showed me pics of the guys he was jealous of, and I didn't find any of them attractive. They just looked like arrogant posers.
KuroNeko41-45, F
[@10807,ravenwind43] I was very clear about what I liked. I like personality, humour, intelligent conversation. They just never believe me.
ravenwind4346-50, F
[@1095867,KuroNeko] I understand that! Sigh....
REMsleep41-45, F
True. You dogged a bullet but sadly he will probably think that you dumped him looked for a hotter guy.
At our age its really unattractive to be so not self aware.
Incel in the making
KuroNeko41-45, F
[@867436,REMsleep] That's the sad thing, he wished me luck in finding someone more suitable. He will definitely put it down to not being attractive enough. Attractive to me is more than just what someone looks like, it's who they are and how they choose to deal with what life throws at them.
Good decision, I think. If they think you are lying because they believe in their own lies too strongly, then there is no telling what other lies they will hold on to as well.
SimplyAPerson18-21, F
Good choice in my opinion. Bitterness is unattractive
SimplyAPerson18-21, F
[@1095867,KuroNeko] Totally.
There鈥檚 a difference between having low self-esteem and showing it to strangers. Something about this guy screams I need someone to make me feel good about myself.
KuroNeko41-45, F
[@1230271,SimplyAPerson] So many are looking for someone to fix them. If you aren't happy on your own then you are just gonna transfer that onto someone else when they also fail to make you happy. This stuff needs to be taught in schools, I swear.
SimplyAPerson18-21, F
[@1095867,KuroNeko] I think it has more to do with people鈥檚 upbringing and surrounding environment. I find that people like that haven鈥檛 been cared about as much as they needed as children. They may know rationally that their approach to relationships is unhealthy, but they find it difficult to tolerate the emotional stress of being alone
I agree. It鈥檚 very difficult to love yourself completely, but there is something to be said for some confidence and a little bit of self-love at least.
Some people complain or are so concerned about things beyond their control, they miss being 鈥渋n the moment鈥.
tenente90-99, M
best post. insecurity is the only the tip of a mountain of character flaws
KuroNeko41-45, F
[@15494,tenente] Thank you, and yes it is!
Dolimyte36-40, M
Sorry to hear that, there's a lot of insecurity to go around these days.
Doometernal22-25, M

Men are fucked up.
GhostPoncho46-50, M
He was gay.

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