Pineapple does go on pizza.
Yes, Pineapple Goes on Pizza — And if you disagree you're Just Wrong. All of You. Even You, Italy.
Let’s settle this once and for all: pineapple belongs on pizza. Not as a joke. Not as a “quirky” choice. As a legitimate, elite-tier topping. And if you disagree, I regret to inform you—you’re not just wrong, you’re culinarily bankrupt.
“Oh but I’m Italian, it’s an insult to our culture!” Cool, Giuseppe. You also invented anchovies on pizza, and no one’s forgiven you for that assault on humanity. Respectfully, sit down and let people enjoy things that don’t taste like salty ocean band-aids.
“Fruit doesn’t go on pizza!” 🍅: am I a joke to you? Newsflash: tomatoes are fruit and they’re literally the base of your sacred pizza. You’re already eating fruit. You’ve been eating fruit. You're fruiting right now.
People act like pineapple is some radioactive monstrosity, but have you tasted it with melty cheese and salty ham? It’s a sweet, tangy, savory, mouth-party. It’s flavor fusion. It’s balance. It’s art. Y’all are out here eating pizzas with barbecue sauce and Doritos on them but pineapple is where you draw the line? Grow up.
Also, the argument “real pizza doesn’t have pineapple” is hilarious. You know what else “real pizza” didn’t have? Stuffed crust. Ranch. Gluten-free cauliflower bases. The 21st century exists, Franco. Catch up.
To summarize: Pineapple on pizza slaps. You’re wrong. Your ancestors would agree if they had taste buds like mine. Long live the Hawaiian. 🍍🔥🍕
Let’s settle this once and for all: pineapple belongs on pizza. Not as a joke. Not as a “quirky” choice. As a legitimate, elite-tier topping. And if you disagree, I regret to inform you—you’re not just wrong, you’re culinarily bankrupt.
“Oh but I’m Italian, it’s an insult to our culture!” Cool, Giuseppe. You also invented anchovies on pizza, and no one’s forgiven you for that assault on humanity. Respectfully, sit down and let people enjoy things that don’t taste like salty ocean band-aids.
“Fruit doesn’t go on pizza!” 🍅: am I a joke to you? Newsflash: tomatoes are fruit and they’re literally the base of your sacred pizza. You’re already eating fruit. You’ve been eating fruit. You're fruiting right now.
People act like pineapple is some radioactive monstrosity, but have you tasted it with melty cheese and salty ham? It’s a sweet, tangy, savory, mouth-party. It’s flavor fusion. It’s balance. It’s art. Y’all are out here eating pizzas with barbecue sauce and Doritos on them but pineapple is where you draw the line? Grow up.
Also, the argument “real pizza doesn’t have pineapple” is hilarious. You know what else “real pizza” didn’t have? Stuffed crust. Ranch. Gluten-free cauliflower bases. The 21st century exists, Franco. Catch up.
To summarize: Pineapple on pizza slaps. You’re wrong. Your ancestors would agree if they had taste buds like mine. Long live the Hawaiian. 🍍🔥🍕
26-30, MNew
