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IAmCarver

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Searching for New Music22

Album Rankings16

Songs That Changed Music3

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Apparently my wife’s tired of my lack of physical strength 🙁

I had trouble opening a bottle of something, so I asked her to open it for me and she got all annoyed! She said “Why don’t you do a real god damn workout and put on some muscle?” It’s not like I have her do that for me all the time. Guess doing her s...

I’ve never seen railroad crossing gates get stuck before

I ended up being stuck in traffic for an hour because the gates at a railroad crossing didn’t raise back up after the train had passed. It took two cops to lift the gates up so people could get through, all while they had to direct traffic. Almost fe...

Searching for New Music session #22

The last session I did was all the way back in October. 😱 I don't know why I lose motivation toward the end of the year to look for new music. Must be seasonal depression. I can only imagine how many great new songs I've missed - how many o...

Some of these people at my job haven't changed a bit

I work as a mail clerk and people from other departments around the complex still like using the USPS mail totes as little storage bins! 😤 Apparently my co-workers haven't been keeping as sharp an eye on them as I used to when I worked here befo...

Almost a disappointment my test didn't come up positive today

If it had, I had a joke in mind about my wife and I being sent off to a leper colony I was gonna use. Just to add some humor to a shitty situation. Good thing it didn't turn out that way, but also too bad for the missed opportunity. 🤷‍♀️...

WOOT, my results came back negative!! 🥳

I got a call from the clinic telling me I am Covid free and am clear to go back to work! Posting this from my desk right now. 😌 Too bad my wife still tested positive the other day and we'll still quarantine from each other until she's in th...

Indian girlies are my weakness 🥰

I just took my PCR test and the nurse who did it was this cute Indian lady. Just seeing her was one thing, but then she had to compliment me by telling me my eyes were pretty. 😳 I could feel my face warming up and now I’m cringing badly, hoping she ...

The way my family is wishing me well on my Covid test today 🤨

They make it sound like I’m going in for surgery or something! 😆 There’s a lot riding on this, so I understand why they’re hoping for the best, it’s just a little amusing is all. 🙃

Loudly banging on my window appeared to work in shutting my neighbor’s dogs up 😄

They were at it for frickin’ hours yipping away nonstop! I called security but apparently that POS neighbor isn’t home, so all they could do was try and see if they could contact the bastard on his cell phone. After another full hour of them barking ...

Be considerate of your neighbors with your dogs, people

I have this neighbor in my apartment complex who will leave his two small dogs out in his backyard at night to bark endlessly. Me and at least one other neighbor (probably more) have had to call security on his stupid ass in order for him to finally ...

Hearing my wife working out in the other room sounds like someone’s in bed with her 😆

I’m sitting out in the living room while she’s in the bedroom hanging upside-down on a bar suspended on the wall doing pull-ups. The grunting sounds she’s making coupled with the rocking motions from the shifting weight of her on that bar has me crac...

Friendly reminder: bringing politics into everything is a sure sign of idiocy

Just saying. 😇

I’m too skinny! 😫

Calling all curves: I’ll trade your bod for my lanky ass. 😒

“Pretty for a dark-skinned person”?

Someone just commented on my wife’s Instagram where she just posted a picture of her face and one of the comments she got was from some guy who told her she was very pretty for someone with dark skin. Wow… I’ll bet you that person is completely obliv...

I wonder how many casuals actually exist in gaming? 🤔

Many video games come with difficulty settings ranged from easy to very hard, with a description of how the gameplay experience will be for the player. For casual difficulty, the description is usually something to the effect of “for those who just t...

Nonconformist quotes I live by

If any of these trigger you, good.

Biggest irony in my life

Even as a kid, I was obsessed with music and liked imagined myself as a member of the Spice Girls back when they were big. 🤩 Or just a rock star or pop singer, depending on what I was listening to at the time. When listening to music out loud, I woul...

Wife is still positive

Took her in for another PCR test and despite her mostly feeling better now, despite an apparently useless home test coming up negative, she has still tested positive for Covid. Just kill us already.

I hate it when flowers wilt 😞

My aunt got me some carnations for my birthday a couple weeks ago and they’re finally dying on me now. 🥺 I love flowers, but it’s always a sad sight for me seeing them die. It’s why I’ve never been much of a fan of being given flowers. At least these...

I love these lyrics

Please let this be my last night on this gawd damn couch 😩

It’s been a week now since my wife and I had to quarantine after she tested positive for Covid. 😞 We’ve been staying in separate rooms so we could avoid me catching all we can - her with the bedroom and me with the living room couch. Let me tell you,...

I don’t know how people can seriously believe the end times are near 😂

After all the end of the world predictions we’ve gotten over the years and how all these terrible disasters were supposed to be a “sure sign” that the end is coming, I don’t see how anyone can actually believe in any of this nonsense. 🤣 I swear, peop...

Seafood tastes better raw, imo 🦪

I’ve never been too big on seafood, but I just realized that in most of my favorite seafood dishes, the fish is served raw. Sushi, oysters, sashimi, ceviche, etc. I’ll take any of those over a plate of a whole cooked fish any day. 🍣

I love these lyrics

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