For the last couple of months I have had a song going round and round in my headI had no idea what the song was. I was even humming it. I was starting to think it was a song that I invented. My alarm clock went off this morning. Turns out the song in my head is the alarm clock tone .... 🌝
There are two types of poetry people write. Soppy or sad. Both equally pretentious. Both equally shit.I should know
…. Poem 1 ….She tiptoed barefoot over fields of grass Down asphalt streets Through broken glass Wandered along old country lanes Beneath the stars In the rain Crossed hills and mountains Past valleys wide And when she reached the end Realised she was dead... See More »
What is the acceptable force to use for beating ones gardener after the fat oaf destroys ones prized petunias?15 lashes I was considering but papa says that is extreme
“Like a crow looking in to a bag of tatoes”Someone just said that in this meeting Wtf does that even mean. In context it means confused. 🤨
Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?Because the grass tickles their balls 🚶♂️..... i'll show myself out
Researchers in Vancouver have used AI to predict future illicit drugs.The AI came up with 8.9 chemical combinations for new drugs. How am I meant to find the time? https://www.vancouverisawesome.com/local-news/vancouver-researchers-create-minority-report-tech-for-designer-drugs-4764676
The only thing that could ruin a Justin Bieber concert ..Is the sound of a gun jamming in the darkness
Have you ever hooked up with someone and had the thought “thats it ive hit rock bottom?No? Its just me then
Whats the difference between America and yogurt?After being left alone for 300 years yogurt develops a culture.
An Irish man walks into a bar with a pig under his armThe barman asks "Where did you get that?" "I won him in a raffle" replied the pig ...
