You want some of these mint, cinnamon, cardamom, allspice, star anise, nutmeg, turmeric, candy coated toasted sesame seeds?
How to sound like you’re from New Jersey Pt 1: add as many unnecessary S and Ws into a sentence as possible
Being a drug addicted is great because you immediately know the source of any problem you have and that it’s the same as the solution
Opiates are cool because one minute you could be painting and the next be painting asleep with your face smushed into the canvas
If Alien could choose her meals she would eat nothing but salami, blueberry muffins, and bits of cat food stuck to the inside of a can
if you suspected your friend’s lover was an incubus and he listened to Incubus would you take it as a green flag or a ploy to confuse?
Why didn’t anyone on that damn street help Oscar out with his housing situation instead of making fun of him for being grouchy?
PSA: if you meet someone who has a favorite vein there is a 300% chance they will try to steal your jewelry
I made my first mole today but I forgot to put on my big girl pants, did I still successfully become a woman?
