Why is it that sometimes my blood is black and other times it’s red?Same vein, don’t hit me with some “there are different kinds of blood vessels”-bullshit, I know, not what I’m talking about.
My sister gets upset if I call myself a junkie. How do I explain to her it isn't a bad thing to me without sounding like a junkie?
My hoarder roommate’s first generation Italian American friend be like “TROW IT OUT!” every 30 seconds
Pro tip: murder someone by shooting them in the face with a potato gun so it’ll just look like they were really hungry
Unpopular opinion: mole is what would happen if a peanut butter and jelly sandwich won the lottery got drunk and made Itself into a sauce
I’m getting off this shit hole planet, I only have room for one more. Which of you is coming with me? (1)
