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Captainjackass

31-35, M

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3130 views · 61 followers · Online: See Last Online »

If I don’t know you most likely I won’t like talking to you

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1-25 of 1998

Great start to the day

Get a frying pan already!

I came up with a brilliant new idea for a tv show

Basically it’s a bunch of people in a competition trying to capture the predator from the movies. It’ll be called to catch a predator! Sounds brilliant I know.

Well…. Shit 💩

Ends up the story idea doesn’t work so I have to rethink it all. All that work for nothing.

Ozzy osbourne died!

RIP rock legend.

I got a booth at a ren faire!

I’ll try to sell the 99 copies of my book no one wants.

6 more bloody months

Until the next book in my favorite series comes out. Ironically it’s called 12 months and I’ve been waiting years for it. Why does it have to be so long though 😣.

Figures doesn’t it

Im just about to get off my lazy ass and go for a run and it starts pouring outside. Now we’re supposed to get a storm too 😒.

I should go to sleep already

It’s late. Why aren’t you asleep!? Go to sleep already. What if there’s someone under your bed? What if Im under your bed. Best sleep on the floor then. Anyways Im going to sleep.

(1)

I was finally getting them back by weening myself off the medication but it was making my already hulk levels of rage worse. So I have to be back on it and sadly the huge gut has returned. I exercise multiple times a week and run as well yet I still... See More »

Comment and I’ll pick a tv character to represent you

Assuming I feel up to it.

Im apparently an old man now

I woke up and tried to bend over and suddenly felt my back scream at me. I have no idea why it’s doing this but it’s made me feel so old.

How long until I isolate everyone else?

Yet another person I considered a friend wants nothing to do with me now. I don’t even know what I did really. It’s just what happens, people always eventually get sick of me and leave my life. There’s just something about me people don’t like,... See More »

Why do pre-workout drinks and mixes always have to taste like ass?

Seriously is it that hard to make one thats not disgusting? Some are worse than others but as someone who likes to exercise this is the hardest part of it. 🤮🤮🤮

The best part of having to sleep with a fan

Is the fact that the wind from it travels into your ears making all sorts of weird noises. Nothing like thinking you hear something at 2 am to help your insomnia. 🫩 sing me a lullaby.

They are officially out of ideas at Netflix

Their making a live action Captain Planet series. 🤦🏻‍♂ Seriously? There is so much they could adapt but they choose this.

(1)

I’ll pay you 20$ to make sure I get up in the morning

Come quickly before it’s taken.

what happens to a vampire if it's bitten by a zombie

Tried googling it but it did nothing. I need answers…. I NEED answers!

Maybe somewhere out there is someone for me

Someone who wants to argue whether bigfoot is an undiscovered species or an inter-dimensional being from another dimension. Someone who can also cause severe pain in an attacker without leaving a mark. Maybe someone also loves urban fantasy books and... See More »

For everyone having a tough day today

Here’s a few animated shorts fans made of my favorite podcast. Even if your not a fan their still funny.

(3)

Is this to dark a story?

One of the stories in my book is set 2 years 8 months after the world broke down in chaos. This particular story is about a 13 year old boy trying to survive in south sudan which is already nearly impossible due to the massive war. Imagine such a war... See More »

Woke up at 4 am and haven’t been able to sleep since

Apparently there’s a wiki for to catch a predator

It has a list of everyone they’ve arrested and details on it. This is just bizarre to me. I mean sure it was probably cool to watch those pedo’s get what they deserve but to create something that detailed. I never watched the show but was it really... See More »

Can someone smack me with a frying pan?

And tomorrow throw a bucket of water on me in the morning so I get up.

Remember as you go to sleep tonight

If you build a man a fire he’s warm for a day, you set a man on fire he’s warm for life. Also polka will never die!

(1)

Ugh it’s to late to doordash

Now I have to put on clothes. 😒

1-25 of 1998