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Captainjackass

31-35, M

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3557 views · 68 followers · Online: See Last Online »

If I don’t know you most likely I won’t like talking to you

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Did you know: Hoover the talking seal

PINNED

Hoover was a you g seal pup found by Scottie Dunning in Maine. After finding the mother unfortunately dead he decided to raise it himself and started by putting in the bathtub and feeding it fish which he ate “like a hoover” hence his name. When he... See More »

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I dare you to comment and ask me to read your fortune

Honestly Im thinking to much and need a distraction.

I set up another sword rack

Felt these three belong together Also finally it uploads. Only took twenty attempts. 😑

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Am I the only one who can’t upload pictures suddenly?

It’s starting to piss me off.

I was so worried about making this story long enough

I accidentally made it too long and now it’s gonna be multiple books. Now I need a name for it.

How the hell did I manage to do this years ago?

I used to eat 3600 calories, 180 grams of protein a day in addition to all my soda. Looking back now idk how I did it. I barely got half that today and feel like Im gonna burst my stomachs so full. I think it’s because of the low cortisol crap but... See More »

Figures this happens

My brand new vacuum I bought a week ago is now busted. Why? Who the hell knows why. I fixed it and took it apart but it still won’t work. Now Im without a vacuum and out 58$. This is what I get for buying cheap.😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬 stupid wal... See More »

Ends up all this crap done to me may have been my fault.

Lot of weird noises coming from the adjoining apartment

Sounds like their pushing a couch back of forth nonstop.

I just found this online

Thanks to random googling

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Comment and I’ll tell you what kind of vibe you give off

Don’t be angry at the results!

Whats your favorite conspiracy theory?

Let’s stay out of politics for this one too. Any of them no matter how crazy they are.

Should have known better

These protein gummies I bought to save myself from having to eat so much are worthless it ends up. Twenty grams of protein for a serving which would be great. Except you have to eat twenty of them for a single serving which it didn’t say in its... See More »

Who the hell are my parents!?

According to @Bexsy Im adopted but she refuses to tell me who my parents are. Who do you think they are?

Is there a black market for swcoins?

Shady stuff going on in the sw underground I bet.

I just want to say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @BittersweetPotato! It’s our queens birthday today. I of course knew this already because I am awesome and know everything about everyone.

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Do you feel more fulfilled when you get things done?

I get rid of my old tires, went to the gym which for some reason was still busy despite me going early. Then I got grocery shopping done. This is all after doing the dishes and laundry too. Idk I just feel better when I get stuff done.

Never eat a pbj sandwich in bed. It gets messy.

Is the hospital where you live a good one?

Mines such crap that next time I have an emergency I’ll drive to the next town over. I went there back when I was deathly sick (ended up being my medication) and every time they did absolutely nothing and charged me thousands for it. 8 months ago I w... See More »

Damnit it happened again

It looks like my new book is gonna be a two parter at the very least. I swear I can’t help myself.

Oldest civilization in the world

Göbekli Tepe (Turkish: [ɟœbecˈli teˈpe], 'Potbelly Hill'; Kurdish: Girê Mirazan or Xerabreşkê, 'Wish Hill') is a Neolithic archaeological site in Upper Mesopotamia (al-Jazira) in modern-day Turkey. The settlement was inhabited from around 9500 BCE... See More »

Comment and I’ll tell you who your soulmate is.

Don’t be surprised if its your evil twin.

Im so sleepy today

Cloudy days make me like this for some reason. Im probably gonna go to sleep early and hopefully actually fall asleep this time. It’s gonna be rainy tomorrow too which is gonna suck. I pray for the day where Im not weak and exhausted. I also miss h... See More »

My mood today is represented by my cat

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Can’t sleep yet again

Sing me a lullaby and rub my swollen stomach

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