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Captainjackass

31-35, M

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4006 views · 75 followers · Online: See Last Online »

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I still remember that night

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It was about five or so years ago. The stupid alarm at work wouldn’t work that night so I had to be called in. It was just you and me for a few hours, deliriously tired and talking. We had nothing to do but sit around and there wasn’t even anything... See More »

Did you know: Hoover the talking seal

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Hoover was a you g seal pup found by Scottie Dunning in Maine. After finding the mother unfortunately dead he decided to raise it himself and started by putting in the bathtub and feeding it fish which he ate “like a hoover” hence his name. When he... See More »

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I just read about 50 pages in the last few days

And just found out that classes don’t start until next week and we’re on break this week 🤦🏻‍♂ . All that work and exhaustion and I have an entire week to do it.

Found out why my backs hurting

I’ve been neglecting my hip exercises for my muscle tear and as a result my left side has been overcompensating. I just need to get back on the PT and it should be okay.

I have to learn about social media marketing for this class

Ugh 😩 one of the things I hate most, right after I finished a math class too.

Will you rub my butt?

My left butt cheek hurts!

I have no focus lately

Idk I haven’t been able to focus this last week on my writing. It’s like I can’t feel the passion I once did for it. Can anyone relate to this?

I just delivered some stuff at a college campus

It took me back to when I was also working while driving through a college campus. Seeing all these young kids with bright futures ahead of them really annoyed me. I spent my 20s being miserable and sacrificing myself because others couldn’t be an... See More »

If you were investigating something and then got caught and chained up and then escaped what would your first move be? I have a good reason to ask this.

Well no more of that I guess

Mixed a pre-workout drink before the gym. Took one tiny sip and rant o the bathroom puking. My body seems unable to handle this stuff anymore. Im trying to get into shape but its surprisingly hard just to drink all this crap.

Please Im begging you.

Happy birthday!

Only two more days

Until my doctor’s appointment and I can hopefully begin to get my cortisol problems worker on. Then another week until my appointment with the urologist where I will demand they actually do something about these damn stones.

Post a picture of yourself you really hate

Everyone always says to post ones you love but I want to see the ones of yourself you hate.

I had a kid tell me to suck his A-hole today when I was driving by. Wtf is wrong with kids these days, I didn’t dare speak like that and nearly got kicked out of school for calling someone a bastard.

Thats a way to ask for money

Someone was holding up a sign saying they needed money to go to Cuba to find Tupac. Apparently it’s an ongoing joke or conspiracy theory but it was at least different than the usual people who always need exactly 13$ for a hotel that night every... See More »

Hard to believe

It’ll be four years next month since you died. Honestly I wasn’t surprised to hear from the police. I figured you were either dead or in jail again. Last time I had seen you I barely recognized you. You died in a shitty motel room in a place for... See More »

Can someone find me a new job

I just need an hour or two a day. Im so sick of doordash, it’s stressful. I got called today to go on a job picking up a package that ended being a table that wouldn’t fit in my car. It took ages to resolve. After two and a half hours work all I... See More »

Just found out they rebooted American Gladiators

Cause they can’t let things stay dead.

I can’t seem to post in the group made by me

But it apparently still exists. Wtf it won’t come up as a choice. I follow captainjackass jackassism deserves to be acknowledged! Worship me!

Who’s gonna be my 4000th view?

Hurry up to be that lucky person.

Just so you know

Im wearing gray sweatpants 😏.

I am the worst runner in the world

I literally had someone casually walking keep up with me. The other day I had a kid a hundred yards ahead of me and they stayed ahead while I was moving the entire tine. A mile and a half and Im dead. I really hate this muscle weakness crap and... See More »

Haven’t slept 🫩

Get me caffeine and lots of it!

This is my life now I guess.

Awake all night every night despite all my attempts to get to bed at a reasonable time. Insomnia is kicking my ass.

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