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Captainjackass

26-30, M

926 views · 20 followers · Online: Recently (date?)

IM STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU

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Days Active

2 Yrs Active

Join Time

1st 6 Mths of SW

Comments

5000 Comments

Questions

250 Questions

Gifts

CrazyHippieChick

1-20 of 481

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My bosses kid should be a comedian.

She always says something so funny whenever she sees me. She can’t understand me and my coworker aren’t brothers just because we work together. I can’t believe someone so adorable came from him.

26-30, M

4 views

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Why do some people say nothing but punch me in the face whenever they talk?

Idk if thats what their saying out loud but thats all I hear.

26-30, M

8 views

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We need an alarm for every time my coworker looks at his phone while driving.

Which is all the time 😑 we almost hit several turkeys today cause he can’t put the phone down.

26-30, M

7 views

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Looking for a roommate is super irritating 😠

I keep getting sketchy messages inquiring about it in weird ways and couples keep messaging me even though I said one roommate 😑

26-30, M

18 views

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Why can’t people just shut up when their supposed to?

They really need to stop talking already.

26-30, M

7 views

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Anyone want to buy my used socks?

I have way to many socks apparently and don’t wear the old ones anymore. 20$ a pair, 30$ for two pairs.

26-30, M

19 views

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Isn’t it so fun being woke up at two in the morning

When your landlord comes up because someone else is so drunk they can’t stand and crash everywhere? I’m so grateful she’s leaving soon so I can get some sleep🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡

26-30, M

1 views

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I once saw one of those house shows where they were selling summer homes

They had a guy who claimed to be a math teacher yet he said he was willing to spend 300 grand on a summer place 🤨 I’m no expert on how much teachers make but that seems like a lot for one.

26-30, M

12 views

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Why is it no matter what job I have I always have to deal with someone who thinks their my boss?

Even when I have a single coworker who I have a year more experience with he now seems to think he’s my boss 😑 Stupid people are so annoying

26-30, M

10 views

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I have a important question only you can answer.

Are you up for that?

26-30, M

16 views

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Why do I take a nap even when I know it’s going to be a mistake?

And I know I’m gonna oversleep?

26-30, M

5 views

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The kids outside are screaming and having fun in the snow

What happened to kids these days being shut ins and being stuck on their phones all the time?

26-30, M

6 views

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I was having a bad day

Then I saw someone I was in high school with who I couldn’t stand. He’s my age, vastly overweight, working a crap job at a gas station, balding and looks pregnant. It makes me feel somewhat better about myself in comparison.

26-30, M

3 views

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I just had a fake dating profile freak out on me

They insisted I send them a picture after they sent a obviously fake one and when I said I’m all messy and don’t even know if their real or some creeper and they freaked out saying theie sexy af and not gonna defend themselves 🤣

26-30, M

12 views

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Can someone shut down twitter already?

If the worlds gonna be destroyed you know twitters gonna cause it. Seriously all I hear about on the news is stupid people saying something stupid on it now!

26-30, M

7 views

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In good news my new toilet seat is very comfy

It’s the first one I actually want to sit on when pooing because it’s padded. I still find myself checking for snakes about to bite my butt though.

26-30, M

6 views

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Who is this selah I’ve been hearing so much about.

On the streets, in the office, from the voices in my head, being spelled out by airplanes in the sky, being heard on cnn.

26-30, M

26 views

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I have a stuffy nose

Console me and make me some tea!

26-30, M

8 views

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Someone robbed the gas station down the street from me 😑

It’s 2 degrees out with snow covering the roads and yet someone decided it’s a good time to rob someone. I really need to get out of this shitty neighborhood.

26-30, M

14 views

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It’s 2 degrees outside right now!

I’m so sick of this weather.🥶

26-30, M

28 views

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Captainjackass | Similar Worlds