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Captainjackass

31-35, M

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3456 views · 67 followers · Online: See Last Online »

If I don’t know you most likely I won’t like talking to you

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Did you know: Hoover the talking seal

PINNED

Hoover was a you g seal pup found by Scottie Dunning in Maine. After finding the mother unfortunately dead he decided to raise it himself and started by putting in the bathtub and feeding it fish which he ate “like a hoover” hence his name. When he... See More »

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I just read about Marxist theory

And understood almost nothing. I had to google it just to get a clear answer. God I hate this class.

Idk why but Im super tired today

I got back from my appointment and laid in bed for two hours awake yet tired. Maybe it’s the rain but Im super tired.

Comment and I’ll tell you who you were in a past life.

I know all about them if course.

I thought I was done with this crap

It had been about a year since my stomach had bugged me like it has the last week. I feel like Im constantly gassy and need to fart but can’t for days on end. It’s nearly impossible to sleep because I just can’t get comfortable and nothing I take... See More »

Im watching late night with the devil

It’s a weird horror movie but good. It’s oddly subtle acting and awkward horror.

They’ve been sleeping all day at the end of the bed

Bunch of slackers

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Do you dare me to put it on my car?

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Haven’t slept at all again

Can someone be me for the day while I just lay in bed?

Comment and I’ll choose your new theme song

Or not. Im probably going to sleep as Im super sleepy suddenly.

Getting enough protein is exhausting

I don’t know how I used to do it. Back when I was more into fitness and on a bulking month I had to take in 180 grams of protein and 3600 calories a day. Do you know how hard that is? The average protein drink took me forever to drink it was so... See More »

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If your bitten by a dragon do you turn into a dragon?

It would only make sense right? If you’re bitten by a zombie, vampire, or werewolf you turn into one yourself. So why not a dragon? Though a big enough one would probably just bite your head off.

I feel the need to post something

But don’t know what to post. How ya doing? Everything okay? Have you checked your reflection in the mirror to know if you haven’t body swapped with someone else?

I wonder if it’s worth it

I just finished another run with no improvement. According to google my low cortisol levels make me both weaker and prevent me from getting stronger and improving. So I literally can’t improve my fitness which makes me wonder why Im doing this. It’s... See More »

Does anyone actually like heights?

I know plenty of people who don’t like them but never heard anyone who loves them. Like oh I like being up high on narrow walkways or like looking over the edge of tall buildings.

I need a name for him.

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I miss these comics

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Apparently the reason I haven’t improved my running

Is because I have low cortisol. Now if thats caused by my stress levels or the cause of my stress levels I don’t know. It is irritating to know my own anger and stress may be why Im not as strong or as fit as I should be. For the amount I used to... See More »

Thor vs Indiana Jones

The Battle: Indiana Jones vs Thor The Stage is Set The battle takes place in a dense jungle, with ancient ruins scattered throughout. The air is thick with humidity, and the sounds of exotic birds and animals echo through the trees. Indiana Jones,... See More »

All this sexiness on my new account and not one perv

Maybe it’s just me? Does my picture seem sexy to you? Come on pervs where are you?

My stomach hurts

I thought I was past all this crap but nope. Someone rub my belly and tell me it will be alright.

I have spent the last three hours reading

About critical theory. I have learned absolutely nothing and remember none of it. Its all gibberish nonsense and none of it means anything. These classes are so stupid. So far I’ve bullshitted my way through the last two weeks but I still think this... See More »

I sweat more taking out the trash than I did at the gym.

Seriously I know there was a lot of it and it’s humid but still. Im absolutely covered in sweat and turned my ac of full blast. Its only 73 out but 56% humidity. I worked out nonstop for half an hour and sweat a bit but apparently stairs are my... See More »

I can’t sleep again 🫩 Ive been laying here for ages and I think Im having an out of body experience.

Fun detective battle

The Battle of the Detectives The stage is set for a battle of wits, a clash of titans, a war of deductive reasoning. On one side, we have Sherlock Holmes, the renowned London detective known for his exceptional analytical mind and observational... See More »

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