I Am a Victim of Emotional Abuse

You will need to get a job and then leave before she takes all your money. That is YOUR money, not hers. If getting a job is hard for you because you have too little education, you might need to take some vocational courses at a local 2 yr. college and start a career. Job interviews are easier when you are well qualified for the job.
Get a job, then get free, and, above all, have a plan but don't tell her, or anyone who knows her, about your plan. Move out while she's gone somewhere visiting or shopping. Leave a note that tells her politely that you are gone and will not be back. Give her a contact# but no street address, just a mailing address. If you stay away from her, you will start to heal and become stronger gradually as you start to accomplish building a good adult life. Believe in yourself. You've survived this witchy mother, you can survive a lot and even thrive in your new life. Social skills can be learned, then practiced. Your problems are minor--except for HER. So get out before she does you some real incurable harm. If you actually fear for your life, there is every chance you are in real danger.

I had a mother from Hell. I still suffer from some really bad memories. I, too, had to escape from her and I, too, feared for my life for realistic reasons. But I'm old now and never thought I'd get there. My mother actually did try to murder me once at a family friend's house--but her friend was brave enough to stop her.

For more details about my mother, please read my Featured story under my Profile here.

I will be glad to provide support here anytime you message me. I check my messages at least twice a week, usually more often.

I admire you for having the guts to reach out here and try and find a way out. I wish you the best.

One more thing: If she hits you or physically attacks you in any way, call the police and report it. And if she calls the police on you, call an attorney.

One way to get the police and other people to believe you would be to record (on video or audio) one of her temper tantrums or threats to you. Her behavior is not legitimate and might not even be legal.

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I think that's called controlling.. Are you still living with her?

Ma'am sounds comparable to my dad, Miss.
Please lets about talk in private.

You're too old to be whining about this. Move out.

After you become an adult you are legally responsible for your own decisions even if you were groomed to become emotionally dependent on her. Two ways that guarantee a break and financial culpability is to join the military or an institution like the Peace Corps and build yourself up separate from her.

"I need to break free before my life ends before I can start it."

That's exactly how I feel. Not for exactly the same reasons but a lot of it does have to do with my mum, who is also controlling, among other things.

This sounds like a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome.

If you don't get out, it will get much worse. She may of given you life but she is not your mother, not your guidance, not your parent.

😣 this was painful to read. Yes, emotional and psychological abuse is swept under the rug. every abuse is traumatic of a different kind. I can understand what you say about not having social skills. Looking up to your parent, and having their approval before every little decision, takes the power of independent thought away from a person.
Some people (including someone close to me) got out of this by taking small steps. Not to be rude, but to practise putting forth YOUR opinion. From the tiniest decisions, you will be able to make your way to big ones. Mistakes are allowed. This is one way they manipulate, by telling you "you can't do it, you'll make a mistake!" well DUH Mistakes are essential. Don't hesitate to make them. I know it's hard to speak your mind, you might have to face a lot of resentment and manipulation that will send you on all sorts of guilt trips. But now you KNOW it's manipulation, you won't fall for it that often.
Your parent won't be around forever. You must equip yourself. Starting now.🤗

Put on your big girl panties and get the hell out...you stay because you're getting some needs met. No matter if it's hard to live there...I know it's scary to go out in this world but there are ways to do it. You're choosing to remain her victim. I ran from my crazy mother at 17. Focus on finding your way on your own.....it's doable. Now is the time...the longer you stay the harder it will be to escape.

Ah. Now I know you. I'm sorry. You don't deserve it. Take control of your life.

This might seem a way off - but even if you can't love yourself just now, respect yourself. No, seriously. Respect yourself. People treat you according to the permission you give them: what you're prepared to put up with. Stop putting up with it. You're an adult now - don't tolerate her treatment, let her whinge, moan, get angry, whatever she wants - but DRAW YOUR BOUNDARIES. By this you put a value on yourself. No, seriously, that's exactly what you are doing.

If you don't, you will go into your future life with no fences - and others will treat you without respect. Respect yourself - and people have to rise to the occasion.

My mother used a thick belt on us. That’s just words.

Can you create a room in your mind you can go to? I'm talking about the REAL you - the YOU you know yourself to be. And just mechanically do the things Ma'am needs for you to do. You know what she wants and demands. Just comply. But know the difference between the mechanical you that's doing those things for her, and the REAL you that's just observing those things from a different place in yourself. That way, you can satisfy her and keep your sanity at the same time. She'll never know the difference. But YOU will. Good Luck.

Oh dear, I can’t imagine being under her thumb. Please do break free of that malevolence.

Just get out. Plan it like a prison escape.

Go to talk to someone who will listen to you. A preacher, a relative a neighbor. Get out of there as quickly as possible. You can start over. She sounds evil.

Get out of there! You're a grown woman. You don't need to deal with this shit. I hope there is someone there to help you.

Being already 23 why not live by your own...liife may be hard but its not impossible..

I know how you feel. I had a mother like that. You need to tell her to fuck off.

she seems like a control freak who is a narcissist.

Ma'am and Sir are respectful

Yeah get away sorry to hear that is happening

I'm surprised she allows you to be online

Me too I was also a victim at that age.

My dad was the same until I married.

Please take note of your last sentence, by what you’ve written on SW so far, you have everything to give to the World, if you can be that kind of person that you are NOW, with all that has happened to you and is happening, just think was kind of person you WILL be when you have the right people behind you

If i can help u in any way i will

If you ever need to ‘vent’ leave a message

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