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I Am a Victim of Emotional Abuse

I am a victim have been since I was 13. Im 23 now. I live with my mom. She as I’d like to call ma’am, she expects me to call her that instead of mom. She controls me by rushing me to eat when we go out in public, the way I dress, the way my hair is just basically who I am. I don’t like that she treats me this way the worst part is when she ignores me that’s when I blame myself. I have poor social skills. I barely am able to apply myself in anything including being interviewed for a job. When I had one she barely gave me enough money to support myself and got angry when I buyed something in her mind “unuseful”. So here I am depressed, unsettled and afraid for my life. All I wanted was love. I feel ma’am will be the death of me one day. Emotional abuse goes undetected by so many. People see it being done to me and they just observe not really stop her. I need to break free before my life ends before I can start it.

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gobacktoyourroomandstudy

😣 this was painful to read. Yes, emotional and psychological abuse is swept under the rug. every abuse is traumatic of a different kind. I can understand what you say about not having social skills. Looking up to your parent, and having their approval before every little decision, takes the power of independent thought away from a person.
Some people (including someone close to me) got out of this by taking small steps. Not to be rude, but to practise putting forth YOUR opinion. From the tiniest decisions, you will be able to make your way to big ones. Mistakes are allowed. This is one way they manipulate, by telling you "you can't do it, you'll make a [i]mistake[/i]!" well DUH Mistakes are essential. Don't hesitate to make them. I know it's hard to speak your mind, you might have to face a lot of resentment and manipulation that will send you on all sorts of guilt trips. But now you KNOW it's manipulation, you won't fall for it that often.
Your parent won't be around forever. You must equip yourself. Starting now.🤗

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

Thanks 🤗 it's just hard I'm drained and hurt sometimes I feel like I deserve it and I'm like wait no I don't it's a battle @gobacktoyourroomandstudy

gobacktoyourroomandstudy

@Nutshell29 you DON'T deserve the abuse! It's the way your brain has been programmed. But you can help yourself rewire to the point of functionality. Some things always stay with us, but life brings trauma to [i]every[/i] person in one way or the other, and we must cope, humans have been designed to cope. Not all is lost. You're still young. You can do this.

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

Thanks I'll try for my sake @gobacktoyourroomandstudy