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I Am a Victim of Emotional Abuse

I am a victim have been since I was 13. Im 23 now. I live with my mom. She as I’d like to call ma’am, she expects me to call her that instead of mom. She controls me by rushing me to eat when we go out in public, the way I dress, the way my hair is just basically who I am. I don’t like that she treats me this way the worst part is when she ignores me that’s when I blame myself. I have poor social skills. I barely am able to apply myself in anything including being interviewed for a job. When I had one she barely gave me enough money to support myself and got angry when I buyed something in her mind “unuseful”. So here I am depressed, unsettled and afraid for my life. All I wanted was love. I feel ma’am will be the death of me one day. Emotional abuse goes undetected by so many. People see it being done to me and they just observe not really stop her. I need to break free before my life ends before I can start it.

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Redstar · 36-40, M

"I need to break free before my life ends before I can start it."

That's exactly how I feel. Not for exactly the same reasons but a lot of it does have to do with my mum, who is also controlling, among other things.

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

My mom has been controlling me since I was born not just me , but everyone @Redstar

Redstar · 36-40, M

@Nutshell29 Do you see any possible way out at the moment? Because (and I realize this is easier said than done) if you do, you need to take it [i]no matter what[/i] and do not let how she will feel stop you. She clearly doesn't care how you feel, so there's no reason you should care how she feels. Or if she really does care, then once she sees how much happier you are, she'll be happy too.

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

@Redstar I don't honestly right now I don't have any friends or even a car

Redstar · 36-40, M

@Nutshell29 Well, shit.. that sucks but I get it, I'm pretty much in the same boat.

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

I don't know I'm thinking about just giving up @Redstar

Redstar · 36-40, M

@Nutshell29 I should probably try to offer words of encouragement but honestly, I want to do the same thing. Or run away to nowhere in particular and just see what happens.

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

I just wanna die honestly @Redstar

Redstar · 36-40, M

@Nutshell29 Technically, as adults, we can just go. We don't need anyones permission, we just disappear. But we choose not to. If I decide to end my life, I want to at least try it my way.
Maybe you can get the same job you have now, somewhere else.

There's no point in living if you aren't having fun. But there are no second chances, once you're dead, you're gone forever.

Sorry this comment was kinda all over the place..

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

It's okay I just think the afterlife is better than on earth @Redstar

Redstar · 36-40, M

@Nutshell29 I hope you're right.
I'm not so sure there's an afterlife but I guess I'll find out when I die, or nothing will happen, in which case I wont be able to care anyway.

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

Do you want to talk on pm?@Redstar

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@Nutshell29 Same as what I experienced with my mother. Almost everyone I knew was afraid of her, or should've been. She could and would destroy a life over minor issues.

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

@greenmountaingal my moms family sees it but they don't say anything I think they just are as toxic as she is

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@Nutshell29 Or maybe they're afraid of her.

Nutshell29 · 26-30, F

@greenmountaingal I doubt it