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I Am a Victim of Emotional Abuse

I am a victim have been since I was 13. Im 23 now. I live with my mom. She as I’d like to call ma’am, she expects me to call her that instead of mom. She controls me by rushing me to eat when we go out in public, the way I dress, the way my hair is just basically who I am. I don’t like that she treats me this way the worst part is when she ignores me that’s when I blame myself. I have poor social skills. I barely am able to apply myself in anything including being interviewed for a job. When I had one she barely gave me enough money to support myself and got angry when I buyed something in her mind “unuseful”. So here I am depressed, unsettled and afraid for my life. All I wanted was love. I feel ma’am will be the death of me one day. Emotional abuse goes undetected by so many. People see it being done to me and they just observe not really stop her. I need to break free before my life ends before I can start it.

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Abstraction · 61-69, M

Ah. Now I know you. I'm sorry. You don't deserve it. Take control of your life.

This might seem a way off - but even if you can't love yourself just now, respect yourself. No, seriously. Respect yourself. People treat you according to the permission you give them: what you're prepared to put up with. Stop putting up with it. You're an adult now - don't tolerate her treatment, let her whinge, moan, get angry, whatever she wants - but DRAW YOUR BOUNDARIES. By this you put a value on yourself. No, seriously, that's exactly what you are doing.

If you don't, you will go into your future life with no fences - and others will treat you without respect. Respect yourself - and people have to rise to the occasion.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@Abstraction Although you are generally right, I had a mother who bullied me, and every time I set a boundary, no matter how firmly and confidently I did so, she just smiled and stepped right over it. You can set a boundary but you need the power to enforce it. And being around someone who doesn't allow you any power won't work. You need to get away from someone like that before you can develop any self-respect; she will tear apart any you manage to develop if you are around her.