I Am a Victim of Emotional Abuse

I am a victim have been since I was 13. Im 23 now. I live with my mom. She as I’d like to call ma’am, she expects me to call her that instead of mom. She controls me by rushing me to eat when we go out in public, the way I dress, the way my hair is just basically who I am. I don’t like that she treats me this way the worst part is when she ignores me that’s when I blame myself. I have poor social skills. I barely am able to apply myself in anything including being interviewed for a job. When I had one she barely gave me enough money to support myself and got angry when I buyed something in her mind “unuseful”. So here I am depressed, unsettled and afraid for my life. All I wanted was love. I feel ma’am will be the death of me one day. Emotional abuse goes undetected by so many. People see it being done to me and they just observe not really stop her. I need to break free before my life ends before I can start it.