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I Have Something to Say

[b]Friendship on SW?[/b]

I have met some great people on this place and I don't really believe that SW is full of idiots (or insolent peasants as I have called you many times before). But...to the "witty" males that have tried to befriend me...all of you with your poetry and eclectic music taste and long conversations about life and what's real and what's not...I do admire your mind. And talking to me about how you admired mine was definitely flattering. But did my mind stop being "admirable" once you realised I didn't want to be more "intimate"? Why spend hours talking to this "special friend" of yours if she's not that special after all? Or even a friend...? I hate it when people make me feel so special only to find out that they've been trying to get something from me and then watch them leave, complimenting and worshipping their new "victim". If friendship is not what you're really looking for then, please, take all your beautiful lies and leave. Why do I have to go through periods of anger and self - doubt just because you're not strong enough to be clear about what you really want and who you really are? And I know that I "shouldn't care about strangers on the internet" and I should probably "go get a life" but I find it stupid to pretend I don't care when I clearly spend most of my time on here.

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DarlingSelah ·

All that bullshit flattery & compliments & over attentiveness is a huge red flag. That's not what friendship looks like but it felt good so you went with it. A lot of women need to be honest with themselves & more introspective about why they nurture these kinds of bonds.

SW-User

@Selah: Hmmmmmm...you are actually right.

Magenta · F

Spot on Selah. Great point to ponder.

The compliments/flattery used to mean something. But then when you see and realize the exact same things are said to every other female, it loses all value and appeal.

It only means something when it is from someone special only to you/me, imo. :-)

DemonicPersona · F

so true

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SW-User

@BloodyMary: Exactly!! Funniest part of situations like this though is that those people are all against those "damn pervs".

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SW-User

@BloodyMary: Yeeeesss! They all use even the same lines. Pathetic...

SW-User

a lot of guys suck up for nudes or just to play games. sadly women play games too. kind of why i cant trust anyone online anymore. too many lies too many made up stories. trying to sift through whats real and whats not real. way too many butt kissers and players on here.when guys are just fuck boys and girls are looking for attention and whoring for attention. is there anything online that is real and genuine. ive lost online friendships over lies and certain lifestyle. act really friendly at first then when the mask falls off you get a whole different person and they cut you off and treat you horribly.

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SW-User

been on social sites for 3 years now. its completely shocking how people act online. you have girls who like being sexually harassed. to people sticking up for pedos. to the amount of pedos online. to girls sticking up for pedos and creepy men. to the amount of people who are going online just looking for sex. to all the fakeness. the lies and manipulations.

SW-User

@theowl: agreed , you just gave to weed through them all ....

Magenta · F

@theowl: Indeed.
[quote] its completely shocking how people act online.[/quote]
[quote]a lot of guys suck up for nudes[/quote] It's mostly why they friend and if you accept they instantly come looking for pictures. Lol. I'm not fooled one bit. Plus I've noticed how some lose interest when you don't [i]go there[/i] or show them skin.

secondtimearound · 31-35, F

Very well said. I've met plenty of them who tell me I'm "special" to them, only to be discarded for the newbie who shows up and plays right into their hands. I've met some genuine people on here who mean what they say, but I can count on one hand how many I've met. I'm sure there are more, I just haven't met them.

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SW-User

@secondtimearound: ...thats exactly what I was talking about...😞

secondtimearound · 31-35, F

@IDidNotFart: I'm sorry. :(

SW-User

@secondtimearound: *hugs*

SStarfish ·

grrr that's why i don't even talk to them 🙄 75% of the time (or so)

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SStarfish ·

@IDidNotFart: yeah like they get pissy mad if you don't indulge them.. like wtf.. we arent obligated to accommodate you *******dickheads.. pfft

SW-User

@ZeroG: 👏👏👏

SStarfish ·

@IDidNotFart: ;) 👍🏼

Livingwell · 61-69, M

Well put. Luckily not everyone is like that. One other peeve I have is some dick making an out of place rude comment when someone posts a nice pic. They said something like "grow some tits". I felt like replying "when you grow a dick". Asshole...

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Livingwell · 61-69, M

@BloodyMary: Exactly! I see this crap all the time. From young and especially older guys. No excuse.

SW-User

@Livingwell: You are right and I have really made a few good friends. I just...don't understand WHY?!

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SW-User

I had that happen early on. I also had and still get the creeps who go straight for the sexual. It's made me even more cynical and distrusting. More than I already was. Which saddens me greatly. But I've come to just accept it. I don't let many, if anyone in. I assume most will not put in the effort to get to know me, when I keep them at arms length. And most won't. And in some ways that in itself is a huge relief. In the time I've been here, there's only been two people who took the time to get to know me when they knew there was nothing sexual or romantic being returned to them. And I am ever so grateful for them. To know that they are there for me in a purely platonic way, no strings attached, no games, nothing complicated or blurred, means more to me then they will ever know. I hope you find such people too. I guess I'd also say... Always remember what this place is...

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SW-User

@IDidNotFart: You just made me tear up... both because of your very kind words, and also your recognition that a lot of people are on here because they're in pain and the last thing they need is more.

And yes I'm a sensitive soul lol

Thank you for the compliment, your own kindness and understanding, and for being such a beautiful soul yourself.

I've noticed you too and thought you were intelligent, funny and interesting. But I have a habit of second-guessing myself when it comes to speaking to other women on here. I sometimes find it easier to get along with guys... I know, I know, terrible of me lol.

SW-User

@Luminescence: Nonono! I'm just like that too. For quite a few reasons...One of them being that I can never be sure about women's intentions and when I tried to make friends...well...I got even more hurt. But I'd like to believe that I still have faith in people. And I'm more "scared" now but I think I'd like to keep trying to get to know people and maybe open up to some of them.
And thank you so much for your kind words! It always means so much more when women compliment and are nice to each other. It just feels more genuine. At least to me.

SW-User

@IDidNotFart: I agree about when women compliment each other... Mainly because I know how hard it is to reach out to another woman, for me anyway (because of my own issues, but I assume I'm not alone in it) so when they're nice and are complimentary in return, I'm always very much aware of how unique it is.

I've been hurt by female friends too. So much so that yeah... broken-winged bird here. But I imagine most on sw are, as you yourself pointed out.

Sorry for getting so analytical lol.

DemonicPersona · F

I kinda agree 🤔 I mean whenever I meet a new friend I imagine myself talking to them like 3 years from now about who knows what but the idea excites me. Most of the time letting people get close enough tends to drive them off. Leaving me in this awkward place where I want to connect but at the same time I don't want to get hurt again. Then I worry about people telling my secrets.....

it's exhausting. It's not just guys girls too.... it just makes me tired and sad. I remember this one girl completely broke my heart with all of her lies.

The reality is the internet is as much of a real and genuine as real life. Because people are just as phoney. And it's not like going online suddenly makes you a robot, you have feelings and emotions that's what makes interactions worth while.

Like right now there's this guy on gosu's discord who flirts hard with me even though he knows I'm gay. And I'm not sure where the attraction for me ends and any actual friendship begins. It's a mess.....

SW-User

@TwilitSona: You're probably right though it's only happened with one girl. It's always guys that treat me this way. I'm getting tired. Mostly tired of getting hurt.

DemonicPersona · F

I agree that most of the time it's guys but I've seen both do it

Flenflyys · 31-35, F

Neckbeards

SW-User

@Flenflyys: don't insult my French heritage!

SW-User

@Flenflyys: 👌👏

firefall · 61-69, M

Well put. It must feel horrible, that realisation (one of the merciful escapes of being an old male, there's not much of anything that anyone wants from you, at least not enough to be worth trying to manipulate you).

It also sounds like they're all following a script?

(as for 'not caring about strangers on the internet' and 'go get a life', that stuff always struck me as profoundly stupid and reality-denying .. life on the internet is still life, it's still people you're talking to: you don't have to be able to touch someone to make them real. At least, until they get AI that can pass the Turing test)

SW-User

@firefall: Exactly!! Internet is still life and I can't help developing feelings. I guess people on here show who they really are after all.

firefall · 61-69, M

@IDidNotFart: Eventually, yeah, tho - just like flesh-life, some ppl are adept at false fronts

Crazytxtink · 51-55, F

@IDidNotFart: gawd this is the truth. True colors always come out. Like you I trust that whomever I'm chatting with is being real. Yet they are not. I do get attached I can't help it. It's just who I am. Yet for some reason people on here think that the other person on the other side of the screen has no feelings. Sorry for babbling but I have been hurt so badly this just triggers emotions from me. Thank you for being real and speaking your mind... 💕

Coppercoil · M

An age old difficulty between people who are after different things. Sorry you've been frustrated by folks here lately.

My life is complicated enough without trying to hook up with people here or anywhere. I genuinely do seek real friendships here. Yet, if there is a romantic spark between me and a friend here, so be it, I'll appreciate and nurture it, but I won't let it define the relationship. I do believe that romance and friendship can coexist and never a kiss needs to be exchanged, and still it can be very rewarding. And if there is no spark.. I have plenty of those friends too. Who cares.. I enjoy just letting life be whatever it wants of be.

SW-User

@Coppercoil: Maybe that's the difference between me and you after all. I need things to be clear. I don't need rules or "schedules" defining my relationships but I definitely need to know where I'm going. If it's a friendship,it's a friendship. If there's a spark then that's wonderful but I don't call it a friendship. And if it's a relationship, it's always serious to me and I can't keep flirting with "friends". Also, I've pretty much made it clear many times before that I need attention and affection,even if admitting that I seek attention sounds bad. So,maybe that's where all my frustration comes from.

Coppercoil · M

@IDidNotFart: this actually sounds very healthy and you do know yourself quite well and what you need. I do admire it, even though it's different than my own internal logic. I really appreciate this about you. You are a good, loyal, and in many ways a very pure hearted woman. Just makes me appreciate you for who you are all the more.

SW-User

@Coppercoil: Well...thank you.

Vivaci

Well-said! 👏☺

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SW-User

@imLobo Thank you.

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SW-User

@imLobo I'm sorry...I'll try!

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SW-User

@imLobo I will. Thank you.

Challenger1 · M

This is a fine distraction, but it is indeed a place of ulterior motives. Almost always to see someone's nude. Which I just don't understand: pervs is there not enough porn out there for you to go jack of to?

Sorry about the "witty" guys.

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SW-User

@Challenger1 I wanted to share what I can't share with people in real life, my thoughts.

Challenger1 · M

@SW-User that is legitimate.

I am here to write, when the mood is upon me, whatever I please and whatever flows on the page and then post.

Magenta · F

@Challenger1 You are right, 'nearly' everyone wants something from you.

What I want is mostly to be left alone and to express or share what I choose in my own way.

VioletRayne · 31-35, F

🤗[c=#4C0073]For being honest with yourself and us. Most can't do that[/c]

SW-User

@VioletRayne: Thank you! 🤗

SW-User

I think you're awesome, even though I think you actually did fart. :)

SW-User

@themauvethong: But I told you it was not me...🙁

SW-User

I am sorry, I fell for a player once it stinks.

SW-User

@justmerae: Oh, I am sorry.😕 Apparently, it happens A LOT...and that's so sad.

SW-User

This should be on the login page of the site.

NunIover

You just need to pick better friends ,people that are honest about their intentions

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NunIover

@IDidNotFart: just don't respond to them ,you live and learn so time to learn from your mistakes🤔

SW-User

@Nunlover: 🤐

NunIover

@IDidNotFart: 😂👍🏾

EuphoricTurtle · 41-45, M

What if I befriend you with my (stolen) poetry, my eclectic-hipster (I liked them better before they were famous) music and long conversations about the how cod has had fascinating role in shaping western culture? Would you then resent me later if i told you I was a Nigerian Prince who wanted to give you 1 million dollars and all I needed was 100 dollars for transfer fees?

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EuphoricTurtle · 41-45, M

@IDidNotFart: In relation to you having been played by what you thought was the love of your life

SW-User

@Synapse: I know but...don't take this kind of comments seriously, I'm not usually serious when I make such comments.

EuphoricTurtle · 41-45, M

@IDidNotFart: hence the homer-esq feeling of "duh"
[quote]I believed you.😖[/quote]
😁

Dewms

Daaamnnn 🙌🏼👏👏👏

SW-User

@Dewms: 😏

Dewms

@IDidNotFart: ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

DragonFruit · 61-69, M

Not all of us will disappear….some will be around. Friendship is important to me (online as well as offline). I have a small number of friends, and a few in my circle who might some day become friends…..and I do look for something special from friends. I don’t care if you post/PM nudes or not (yes, I’m enough of a perv to look if you do, but hopefully you’d be OK with that if you posted one). Yes, you’re going to find a lot of “players” online….but it makes finding people who do care stand out even more.

Classified · M

I hope you get some better friends around here.
I hope I'm not too dissapointing myself actually. 😅

SW-User

It's probably in ones own best interest to keep things on the surface with this place

Lillym · 46-50, F

That's happened to me too many times to count:( sad...

SW-User

@Lillym Really...too many women can relate, that's really sad. :( I'm so sorry.🤗

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SW-User

@AmandaAngel None of these makes you less normal. And please, a mess emotionally? Most of us are. Don't let people tell you who you are or who you should be.

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SW-User

@AmandaAngel Don't compare yourself to anyone.🙁 Try to help your friend and yourself instead. Well...easy to say...

RebornPhoenix · F

Ugh I can relate to this all too well. But btw I think you're fantastic. 😊

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SW-User

@sighmeupforthat: Oh,please... "you make yourself feel that way" and "it's all in your head and you can fight it alone" are two of the clichés that I hate 🙄

Livingwell · 61-69, M

@IDidNotFart: Those are dicks, not men. I ran into one last night.

SW-User

@Livingwell: 😕

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SW-User

@BlueClapTrap But they made it clear that it was all about sex after all.😕 I mean the people I was talking about.

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okaybut · 56-60, M

Problem with Internet social media...the connection so loose and undefined. From point of view..I just take it one interaction at time and anything else is a bonus. I find I do learn a lot on here...but it does fairly little for any sense of loneliness.

plumbcurious · 36-40, M

Remember you are amazing and the just have short attention spans. Yes I'd love to have you as an intimate partner but would care more to have you as a true ring friend. You intrigue me in more ways than any woman or person has before

SW-User

🤗

SW-User

I’d message but it days I can’t unless you message me first 🤔@SW-User

SW-User

@SW-User Hahaha😂

SW-User

Haha. Well 🙄@SW-User

SW-User

Yea I imagine that genuineness can be hard to spot. And it's no doubt a different kind of twisted for them to put in that kind of investment just to take something from you....not to mention it sounds like a lot of work.

JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F

Amen sister. Fucking right. And then we are called dramatic..too much...and those very things you mentioned. I have met a couple who are very clear. Know what I want and I know what they want. Makes things much easier.

The reason I am awesome is because I have a heart and care. If that does not fit your agenda...mosey along to another town.

SW-User

@JaggedLittlePill: Exactly! Luckily,there are people who are strong enough to show who they are. If you want something just ask for it. Doesn't mean you're gonna get it but at least there won't be any drama.

KingofPizza2 · 36-40, M

Not all peasants are insolent, it's true.

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KingofPizza2 · 36-40, M

@IDidNotFart: Wait though isn't one of the perks of being a king the ability to ruin things willy-nilly? If not I might as well abdicate the throne. Would you like my crown?

SW-User

@KingofPizza: Yes,please. Thanks. Bye. U_U

KingofPizza2 · 36-40, M

@IDidNotFart: I only ask that you rule as one of those tyrants who is really *enjoying* being in charge. Have fun with it! 👸

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SW-User

@Yancey Exactly...

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okaybut · 56-60, M

@SW-User You are right. It took me a long time to understand my own feelings and the ability to control my want. But at this point, I know in my gut if I am into a girl. And if I am into her and she is not into me, I don't care. I think for a man especially to be friends with a woman, he has to be getting satiated sexually (not hungry) in some way.

But yes...the old switch-o-rou...I am not sure you can really know. But you can read the signs if you are careful. And when they appear, call the other person out (not in a negative way). Our gut or instinct tells us a lot.

A lot of the old guys can be creepy (but I think they are the ones who have gone a lifetime not getting laid and their brains are sort of fucked up now). But the other ones might be good friends (or the asexual or gay young ones).

DaveyTaco · 31-35, M

I'm pretty new to this site so I don't actually know what people are like on here.

Tell your enemies to eat mcdonalds. Lol

SW-User

Yeah an the old men posting nude pix of girls young nuff to be their daughters is disgusting

SW-User

@SW-User Disgusting, indeed

PrisinorOne · M

you are special. to me anyway. i'd love to talk again :) hope you call me on skype. i've got a mic now :)

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SerenitiesScars · 31-35, M

Spend less time on the internet when your ankle is better Dove.. *Hugs!*

SW-User

@OpenArmPolicy: Oh, I'm definitely gonna do it! Less time on SW at least.

Crazytxtink · 51-55, F

It's nice too see someone else feels this way..

SW-User

@Crazytxtink: Unfortunately,we're not the only ones...😞

Crazytxtink · 51-55, F

@IDidNotFart: I know but at least someone wrote something that's real to some of us. Sad but truthful

I would also like to add.... I think most of us struggle with real life.. And sometimes we look for comfort of others on a social site.. I see nothing wrong with it. Unless you have asshole trolls who only use sites like these to abuse others I have found some pretty amazing people online. And there the ones who only use people sadly that what I find.. I do believe you can also form a close bond with someone you have never meet. Maybe that the romantic in me. Speaking. Also I'm not a attention seeker. Yet people think I am. Some are so quick to judge others.
When I made my first comment I just meant I like knowing someone spoke there honesty.. I enjoy meeting other like minded people. Who aren't afraid too show there true self. Instead of being a bully or a use people too get something.