I Have Something to Say

Friendship on SW?

I have met some great people on this place and I don't really believe that SW is full of idiots (or insolent peasants as I have called you many times before). But...to the "witty" males that have tried to befriend me...all of you with your poetry and eclectic music taste and long conversations about life and what's real and what's not...I do admire your mind. And talking to me about how you admired mine was definitely flattering. But did my mind stop being "admirable" once you realised I didn't want to be more "intimate"? Why spend hours talking to this "special friend" of yours if she's not that special after all? Or even a friend...? I hate it when people make me feel so special only to find out that they've been trying to get something from me and then watch them leave, complimenting and worshipping their new "victim". If friendship is not what you're really looking for then, please, take all your beautiful lies and leave. Why do I have to go through periods of anger and self - doubt just because you're not strong enough to be clear about what you really want and who you really are? And I know that I "shouldn't care about strangers on the internet" and I should probably "go get a life" but I find it stupid to pretend I don't care when I clearly spend most of my time on here.

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SW-User

I had that happen early on. I also had and still get the creeps who go straight for the sexual. It's made me even more cynical and distrusting. More than I already was. Which saddens me greatly. But I've come to just accept it. I don't let many, if anyone in. I assume most will not put in the effort to get to know me, when I keep them at arms length. And most won't. And in some ways that in itself is a huge relief. In the time I've been here, there's only been two people who took the time to get to know me when they knew there was nothing sexual or romantic being returned to them. And I am ever so grateful for them. To know that they are there for me in a purely platonic way, no strings attached, no games, nothing complicated or blurred, means more to me then they will ever know. I hope you find such people too. I guess I'd also say... Always remember what this place is...

SW-User

@Luminescence: I wish there was a "best answer" option for stories too.
I think the saddest part of this story is how many women actually told me that they've been through the same thing both me and you had to go through. It's sad cause I believe that,if not all of us, then I'm sure most of us are on this place only cause we got already hurt enough in real life.
I haven't stalked you enough (Yes, I do stalk interesting people sometimes) but from what I've seen you're one of the kindest people on this site. I'm so sorry that even someone as nice as you had to go through this.

SW-User

@IDidNotFart: You just made me tear up... both because of your very kind words, and also your recognition that a lot of people are on here because they're in pain and the last thing they need is more.

And yes I'm a sensitive soul lol

Thank you for the compliment, your own kindness and understanding, and for being such a beautiful soul yourself.

I've noticed you too and thought you were intelligent, funny and interesting. But I have a habit of second-guessing myself when it comes to speaking to other women on here. I sometimes find it easier to get along with guys... I know, I know, terrible of me lol.

SW-User

@Luminescence: Nonono! I'm just like that too. For quite a few reasons...One of them being that I can never be sure about women's intentions and when I tried to make friends...well...I got even more hurt. But I'd like to believe that I still have faith in people. And I'm more "scared" now but I think I'd like to keep trying to get to know people and maybe open up to some of them.
And thank you so much for your kind words! It always means so much more when women compliment and are nice to each other. It just feels more genuine. At least to me.

SW-User

@IDidNotFart: I agree about when women compliment each other... Mainly because I know how hard it is to reach out to another woman, for me anyway (because of my own issues, but I assume I'm not alone in it) so when they're nice and are complimentary in return, I'm always very much aware of how unique it is.

I've been hurt by female friends too. So much so that yeah... broken-winged bird here. But I imagine most on sw are, as you yourself pointed out.

Sorry for getting so analytical lol.