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I Have Something to Say

[b]Friendship on SW?[/b]

I have met some great people on this place and I don't really believe that SW is full of idiots (or insolent peasants as I have called you many times before). But...to the "witty" males that have tried to befriend me...all of you with your poetry and eclectic music taste and long conversations about life and what's real and what's not...I do admire your mind. And talking to me about how you admired mine was definitely flattering. But did my mind stop being "admirable" once you realised I didn't want to be more "intimate"? Why spend hours talking to this "special friend" of yours if she's not that special after all? Or even a friend...? I hate it when people make me feel so special only to find out that they've been trying to get something from me and then watch them leave, complimenting and worshipping their new "victim". If friendship is not what you're really looking for then, please, take all your beautiful lies and leave. Why do I have to go through periods of anger and self - doubt just because you're not strong enough to be clear about what you really want and who you really are? And I know that I "shouldn't care about strangers on the internet" and I should probably "go get a life" but I find it stupid to pretend I don't care when I clearly spend most of my time on here.
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secondtimearound · 31-35, F
Very well said. I've met plenty of them who tell me I'm "special" to them, only to be discarded for the newbie who shows up and plays right into their hands. I've met some genuine people on here who mean what they say, but I can count on one hand how many I've met. I'm sure there are more, I just haven't met them.
SW-User
@secondtimearound: Sounds exactly like my experience...And I try to tell myself not to trust people but I can't help getting excited over meeting new people. New people who tell me I mean so much to them...Meh,stupid me.
secondtimearound · 31-35, F
@IDidNotFart: Same here. Each time I tell myself that I'm not falling for it again. But then I do and they prove to me I was nothing to them. I guess because I want to be special to that person who is special to me, I fall for it again. I'm such an idiot.
SW-User
@secondtimearound: Exactly! And the periods of self-doubt I talked about...you get that too right? I felt so many times that I didn't really matter that I don't know what to believe about myself anymore. Maybe I really don't matter after all.
secondtimearound · 31-35, F
@IDidNotFart: Yes, I do get it. Because they play with me, I feel I don't matter to anyone at all. Even IF someone comes along who is genuine with their feelings for me, I'll doubt them becuase it's been drilled into me time and time again. Because ive come across too many who have said i amd special to them only to find oit he has 10 other women who are special to him to in all the same ways i am. I'm always the one left hurting, feeling worthless.
SW-User
@secondtimearound: ...thats exactly what I was talking about...😞
secondtimearound · 31-35, F
@IDidNotFart: I'm sorry. :(
SW-User
@secondtimearound: *hugs*