I'm about to turn 21 soon, yet I feel like a kid. Hear me out below...

Being unique is a gift. Dont trade that for being average. It scares people who are trying to fit a mold that you broke. Genuine people will admire you.

Shall I let you in on a little secret? The MAJORITY of people, male or female, feel that [i]they[/i] don't fit in either!

Just be yourself....do what you think is right...

You do you...

😘

Nadya, 21 is a landmark birthday, but don't be so worried about this. By your own admission, you are doing REALLY well! College, job, car, paying bills AND a great credit score--you are way ahead of the "game"!

You might look up something called the [i]Desiderata,[/i] something which was a minor furor years ago, but which had a number of tips about living which might be helpful.

In your case in particular, it says that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, because it can make you both vain (because you can always find people worse off/worse than you) and bitter (because you can always find people who are better off/better than you).

You mention your humor, too. Sounds as though you are fun, maybe have a ready smile & laugh, good sense of humor. GREAT! It is part of what makes you YOU h not people who have forgotten how to laugh, etc.

Tomboy? Has "gender theory" made you obsess about this stuff? You are who you are, and, to me, "tomboy" means "low maintenance", which I personally view as a GREAT thing; means sure, you are a woman, but you are comfortable with yourself & don't need to spend/waste all sorts of money trying to chase fads. Jeans can be very sexy, and don't have to be designer.

Fitting in? If people don't accept you as an individual, if they can't appreciate you for yourself, do you really want to fit in with them? You need people who don't need you to be something you were shown in advertising propaganda (which is MEANT to sell you soap, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, anti-persperant, toothpaste, other hair products, other skin products, nail polish, underwear, shoes, jewellry, clothing, purses, etc., etc., etc., all in the latest colors, patterns, materials, cuts/lengths/styles, combinations in order to demonstrate your conformity to an unattainable ideal. Do you REALLY think that Cindy Crawford looks like herself because of a melon grown in Southern France? Cindy Crawford looks like Cindy Crawford because of her genes, and looks better than most people even rolling out of bed in the morning, because she is genetically blessed, not because that doctor found out anything about that melon.

You are who you are, and you have already made something of yourself; go home, thank your parents, hug them, and keep up the good work.

Remember, you are at an awkward age for becoming an adult, sort of the next transition time beyond the so-called "tween" years (we should have a name for it!).

[PS, the cortex which deals with decision-making in your brain doesn't finish developing until you are around 24...so maybe you will feel more..."right" in a few years.]

First of all, you [i]are[/i] still a kid. Don't rush growing up. Secondly, not all adults have suckie senses of humor. You just haven't found the ones who have the kinds of sense of humor that you do.

Second, not all older women go out of their way to be feminine. However for some, because of some of the misogynistic ways that many men from older generations think, that feminine way of dressing and behaving is how they got ahead in life, by conforming to the expectations of the men in charge of hiring/firing/promotion decisions. For some women, it's because they grew up in a different time and learned different ways to be themselves. And for some, it's just how they want to be.

Third, you don't need to fit in. It okay to be you, it's okay not to relate. Find what works for you and be you. People who like you and are like you will show up to be around you.

Nah, you're doing fine IMO, much better than the average uni/college student. If people act hostile towards you or treat you like a kid for your age or whatever reason, chances are that it's them being childish and envious. So f*ck them (not literally, lol)

There's nothing wrong with being a tomboy or feeling like a kid. 21 is still quite young and you're still evolving into adulthood.
I like to let the "kid" in me out as much as possible!

Nah it's probably generational differences really. You'll nearly always feel like this, I matured a lot in my mid 20s but I still feel like I'm 22. I'd say you don't even find yourself until mid 20s tbh.

maybe its time for you to find the Woman you want to be ?
maybe its tiem for you decided fem mas or tomboy or just u take time to refleck on what type of woam yo u want to be

You sound quirky and unique. The kind of person who stands out in a crowd and that’s a good thing

Always be you and never conform

Usually hear men talking about credit reports.. advising young people 🤔 this is a first

Don't push yourself to grow up or act like anyone else. You're okay. :)

You don't need to fit in. Just make it work for you.

Thank you all so much for your support. It truly did help me.

No, no, no. There’s nothing wrong with continuing to be exactly who you are. You don’t have to conform to stereotypes to be “an adult woman”—you’re already behaving like one—being responsible and taking care of business. You can try on the trappings, dresses, make up, heels, if you’re curious, to see if that [b]also[/b] feels like you sometimes. If it does, cool. Do it on your terms. If not, that is fine, too. And you will find friends who “get” your humor and share it, if you haven’t already. 😊