I'm about to turn 21 soon, yet I feel like a kid. Hear me out below...

I go to university, work, pay rent with my parents. Have excellent credit score. Pay my car. Work out. Don't do drugs or don't want to consume alcohol. Eat healthy. And meditate every once in a while.

The thing is I am a tomboy. I mix my clothes with some femininity and some masculinity. Yet I'm still a woman.

I look at these other women who are older than me, who are more feminine than me and I think to myself, "Is this what an adult woman should be like?"

I wonder to myself if it's okay for me to still be a tomboy.
I do all those things in the first paragraph, but I still feel like a kid. I notice around me that "adults" don't really joke around with the kid inside them. Rather it's mundane and monotonous humor with adults. I notice that adult women, I also don't really relate to either. I don't fit in anywhere. Do I need to just "Grow up?" I don't know.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

CleverFunnyNameGoesHere · F

First of all, you [i]are[/i] still a kid. Don't rush growing up. Secondly, not all adults have suckie senses of humor. You just haven't found the ones who have the kinds of sense of humor that you do.

Second, not all older women go out of their way to be feminine. However for some, because of some of the misogynistic ways that many men from older generations think, that feminine way of dressing and behaving is how they got ahead in life, by conforming to the expectations of the men in charge of hiring/firing/promotion decisions. For some women, it's because they grew up in a different time and learned different ways to be themselves. And for some, it's just how they want to be.

Third, you don't need to fit in. It okay to be you, it's okay not to relate. Find what works for you and be you. People who like you and are like you will show up to be around you.