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The strongest woman I know.


tl;dr My mom has cancer (this ended up being a lot longer than I intended).

My mom. My first teacher. My first friend. The woman who taught me how to be a mom.

She was diagnosed with cancer in April 2021. Stage IV metastatic breast cancer that had already spread into her organs and her back. Inoperable.

She endured a course of radiation therapy, followed by a round of chemo. Her cancer responded well to the treatment and by April of 2022, her numbers for her cancer markers had dropped significantly.

And then they went back up. Higher than they were when she was first diagnosed.
Another round of chemo… she lost her hair, but never her hope. Then she developed pretty significant neuropathy in her hands and feet, coupled with swelling and fluid retention in her lungs and abdomen.

Her oncologist ended her treatment prematurely because of the side effects she was having.

A few months later, she started a more intensive chemotherapy. She stayed on that up until last week, with no improvement.

Last Sunday, we were supposed to get out and do something together with all of my kiddos. Something we haven’t done much of in the last two years because of her decreased immunity, COVID risk factors, and my fear of getting her sick.

Saturday night/Sunday morning she messaged me that she was going to the ER for extreme abdominal pain. She had a systemic E. coli infection and she was extremely jaundiced and swollen.

A week later, and she’s still in the hospital. Her infection has cleared, but her liver has multiple lesions and just isn’t doing what it’s supposed to. She’s weak and struggled to catch her breath after just a few short steps.

Her oncologist will start another round of chemo in a couple weeks, but it doesn’t sound promising. It’s not a very long lasting treatment and it has a relatively low response rate. That is, if her liver will restore function enough to be able to start it at all.

I’m really trying not to mourn her loss before she’s fully gone, but it’s [i]hard[/i].
QueenOfTheNerds · 41-45, F Pinned Comment
Mom passed away tonight, surrounded by family and so much love. The world lost the kindest, most giving woman.
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
@QueenOfTheNerds my sincere condolences. I'm glad to hear she was surrounded by family and love.
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
@QueenOfTheNerds So very sorry for your loss. :(
@Angelwarfare I'm so sorry Angel. ❤️

QueenOfTheNerds · 41-45, F
Her oncologist called a meeting today with family. He won’t start her on a new chemo. Her liver just won’t survive it.
When she’s released from the hospital in a few days, she’ll go into hospice care at home. He expects 1-2 months is all she has left.

Thank you for all of your kind words and prayers. ❤️
Slade · 56-60, M
@QueenOfTheNerds I'm so sorry. Both my parents' ends were drawn out and miserable. I know the feeling all too well
😭😭😭 I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this. I just don't have the words I'm just so sorry. I will be praying for you and your family. I'm so glad she was surrounded by so much love from her family. That love will still live on and she will be with you in spirit everyday and she will touch many more lives to come through you and your family. When a lovely woman like her passes away, it doesn't end there. Her spirit lives on and affects others like ripples across the waters, touching lives over and over and over again. May God bless you all and comfort you at this difficult time and restore your hearts to gladness, until you meet her again. ❤️ Hugs and my deepest condolences.
I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this. I will keep you both in my prayers. 🌹😔🙏
bookerdana · M
I'm very sorry the two of you are going through this. She sounds like a great mom and role model.

I have no words that would console you,now but I'll keep you both in my prayers
LilPrincess · 41-45, F
I'm so very sorry. I going through this with my sister. I can't see her until surgery next month so we can only text and talk on the phone so there is no risk of her getting sick.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
Aww hopefully the new round will give good results..the body is a mysterious thing but can still surprise us in its healing ability. Lots of positive wishes💕🦋🌈
SlaveEt · 31-35, FVIP
Cancer is evil. It steals those we love, even before they really leave us. It robs us and the ones we love of so much. My heart goes out to you and yours. I hope you are able to create at least a few more good memories together.
ronisme1 · 61-69, M
Im so sorry, my mother died of cancer also. It was very painful to watch but she was the glue of the family. She is suffering no longer. I'll pray for a miracle for you
@ronisme1 I'm so sorry Ron. ❤️
Freeranger · M
You have my heart my friend...sometimes tuneage smoothes a ramp between what we want to say vs. what we end of saying because we don't know what to say when life becomes visceral for that individual who we love, but struggle to find a way to wrap them up in some sort of verbal hug. That I had a magic wand.

I like this one from Nash/Crosby. I"ve shared it before. For me, it represents a soul lying down in that river, and letting the bracing water of a mountain stream wash over them in a cleansing way. I wish I could give you more my friend. Truly.
Viper · M
Sweetie, mourn or be sadden all the you need to be, and let it out, don't hold it in, or it'll be like a ticking time bomb 😔

Spend lots of time with those that put a smile on your face and care for you. Let the pets be silly and lick your face when they can tell you're sad.

Sorry it's not easier.
I hope for the best and this round will have positive results. I know how very difficult this is for you.

I lost my mother who was also my best friend to breast cancer. Was actually to an infection induced by treatment.

Stay strong and love eachother.
fun4us2b · M
During the time you spend with her now you will both still learn more and comfort each other...she's still her...and when she passes, the relationship doesn't end, it changes. I still hear my Mom talking and giving me advice 14 years later...
Rose0415 · 31-35, F
My mom has breast cancer too so I know just what you're going through 🙁. Like you, we've done all that we could possibly do. At this point though the only thing left that we can do is pray.
QueenOfTheNerds · 41-45, F
@Rose0415 I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s such a horribly helpless feeling.
My thoughts are with you and your family. 🩵🌿🪻🍃

I lost my dad to Cancer and it was extremely taxing and hurtful to watch him suffer. May she be made as comfortable and peaceful as possible.🙏💟
I’m so very sorry … she’s a strong woman and so are you in this very difficult time…

It’s important that she knows you won’t suffer…

I will keep her and all of you in my prayers …. 🤗🌹

God bless…
caPnNathanael · 26-30, M
Whatever happens, I hope you'll have the strength to carry on. That can't be easy and that's the worst fear for my mom, who's health is also dwindling
Coldplay · 56-60, M
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. Live and live with her while you can. I wish you positivity and send prayers for your mother.
Notanymore · 36-40, M
My heart bleeds for you! I have been through this , very similar to this with my father. Here if you need anything.
FreeSpirit1 · 51-55, F
Stay strong, it's all you can do. I lost both parents to the horrendous Cancer.
QueenOfTheNerds · 41-45, F
@FreeSpirit1 I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad to lung cancer a few years ago, too. His was much quicker.
I’m sorry your mother is going through this. At least she has a daughter like you to support her through this.
JKR22 · 41-45
I’m so sorry! Hope you can find the good from the bad. Even though it’s all fucking bad
So sorry to hear this. Prayers for strength to your mom and your family.
AntisocialTroll · 51-55, F
I'm so sorry, here's hoping she manages to rally and get well enough to go home.
TexChik · F
Go enjoy her while you can , her time is short and she doesn’t want to be alone . I’m so sorry . 🥺
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
I'm so so sorry. My mom's journey with chemo was so hard fought. You have my empathy. 🤗
Prayers for a complete miracle healing for your mother 🙏
I’m so sorry. I understand how this is. I’m keeping you in my thoughts. 😞
exotic · 22-25, F
sorry to hear this, just try to be there for her
Johnconnor · 31-35, M
Stay strong. Prayers will be there.
pdockal · 56-60, M
Slade · 56-60, M
Fertilization · 31-35, F
So much pain in this post.
No words to express
iamonfire696 · 36-40, F
I am so sorry for what you are all going through
LordShadowfire · 46-50, MVIP
Fucking cancer...
candycane · 31-35, F

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