Tell me about your finest, most gritty, witty, lowdown,

Was at a darts night and some food was supplied... i wasn't sure exactly what it was supposed to be.... i asked the land lady to put into a blender and make it into a soup... she took it away and a few minutes presented me with the soup. Other people were still muttering making into a soup hadn't improved it at all.... i fact it was worse.... the landlady looked at me accusingly... and blamed me.... asking why i requested soup.... i told her my only reason was it would pour down the sink easier..