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Parents sue school district for not notifying them that their child was going by masculine pronouns at school

https://thehill.com/changing-america/respect/equality/4369721-parents-sue-michigan-school-district-over-pronouns/
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So basically a biologically female student asked the school counselor to tell the teachers to use he/him pronouns and a masculine name. The counselor and the teachers complied.

The parents end up seeing a note that addresses their child with his preferred name and pronouns. Their reaction? “HOW DARE THE ADMINISTRATION NOT IMMEDIATELY NOTIFY US OF THIS PRONOUN CHANGE???”

All I have to say is, poor kid, not only did the parents file a lawsuit against the school district, but they pulled their child out of real school and switched him to homeschooling.

If you’re wondering why the school didn’t notify the parents, it’s because the school has a policy of not disclosing a student’s LGBT status to their parents if the student has not come out to them yet. Protecting the students’ privacy and their ability to come out to their parents when and how they see fit.

So the parents claimed in the lawsuit that by not notifying them about the pronoun change the school violated their 1st and 14th amendment rights, because they are [i]Christians[/i], and allowing one’s child to transition is against their religion.

This poor kid, the one place where he could truly be [i]him[/i]self, amongst his peers, friends, teachers that cared and accepted him, all that gets stripped away by his vindictive parents. Now he has no escape from the chronic invalidation of who he is as a person.

These parents should be asking themselves not “why didn’t the school tell us?” but “why didn’t [i]our child[/i] tell us?”

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

TheRascallyOne · 31-35, M

I'm on the parent's side. The school should have contacted the parents and see how they wanted to approach situation

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pdockal · 56-60, M

@BlueVeins

Good luck
I feel sorry for your family & God forbid your children
I'm done with this post
Not worth my breath or time
Bub bye

BlueVeins · 22-25

@pdockal If that's the level of arbitrary power you think you should have over your kids, I feel bad for yours.

pdockal · 56-60, M

@BlueVeins

Be gone
I'm done
No more comments

JovialMoose · 46-50, M

Imagine if schools could sue parents for the harm that their kids bring them….

Maybe parents would start parenting at that point.

OliRos · 18-21, F

@JovialMoose A refreshing viewpoint!

HoraceGreenley · 56-60, M

The parents are right. Schools have no business hiding this from parents.

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Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@HoraceGreenley Just like school counselors in my country are legally bound to not tell parents if their children go talk to them, these teachers has the same obligation.

Spoiledbrat · F

@Queendragonfly If he had simply confided in the school counselor that's different but I read ..."So basically a biologically female student asked the school counselor to tell the teachers to use he/him pronouns and a masculine name. The counselor and the teachers complied."

That's going beyond the call of duty. And I think at that point a parent should have been notified.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@Spoiledbrat The teachers respected the child. What's wrong with that?

The child is allowed to decide when or if they wanna tell it to their parents.

ArtieKat · M

It's a difficult situation but in England, certainly, parents have a legal responsibility for their children up to the age of 18. Schools do not have that mandate.

SlaveEt · 36-40, F

I understand how you feel but change the topic and see if your feelings change.

Regardless the school provides a service and should not try to replace parents. This means they have an obligation to report to the child's parents or guardians.

Spoiledbrat · F

I think the parents should have been notified.

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Spoiledbrat · F

@Queendragonfly Parents are updated on their school experience in general. They should be notified of something serious and parents are allowed to be parents. They don't need your approval. Do you live in America because I do? I grew up in American schools [i]and[/i] sent my kid to one

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@Spoiledbrat if I was trans and I knew my mom and dad was Christian and denied transgenders entirely, there's no way in hell I'd open up to them about that. Would you?

Spoiledbrat · F

@Queendragonfly Then I guess he shouldn't open up to anyone but close friends. I'd want to know and I'm not anti lgbtq

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

It should have been the other way around.
When you said they're Christians I wish there was a law that took kids away from extreme religious parents who prioritize their religious beliefs over the child's safety, as to discriminate your child no matter what you excuse it under, should be filed as child abuse.

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pdockal · 56-60, M

@SunshineGirl

Your still missing the whole point
The parents are the parents & there is no situation that anybody should keep a secret from them .... isn't that a sign of abuse ....
They get to choose what's right fit their child not you ... there are programs in place to protect the child from abusive parents

SunshineGirl · 36-40, F

@pdockal Those systems will not work if a child is unable to speak in confidence with a teacher, nurse, or police officer.

pdockal · 56-60, M

@SunshineGirl

confidence doesn't mean that they keep secrets
If the school is keeping secrets who's watching the school

Torsten · 36-40, M

anyone in this thread actually defending the school on this are either really shitty parents or childless.
Crazy to me that people think its okay for schools to hide things from the parents. I hope more and more schools get sued to oblivion for this type of thing and its puts a quick stop to it.
Its no wonder more and more parents are choosing for children to be homeschooled nowadays. Schools are a complete joke and schools do not have more rights over the children than the actual parents

thenormalkindofcrazy · 31-35, M

Maybe I'm behind the times, but I think schools and parents should work together to give kids the best chance they can. I know, nobody has time for parent-teacher conferences, but one side keeping any secrets isn't helping anyone.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@thenormalkindofcrazy Kids in extreme religious homes has been doing things behind their parents back since 100 years back. They don't accept oppression.

scooogy · 31-35, MVIP

Sound to me like the movie plot of "The Island" where humans suddenly face the fact that they're only an experimental objects without any autonomy. I'd rather feel bothered if I was their child.

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 41-45, MVIP

the fact that your ok with parents being 2nd to their own kids life says a lot.

big brother and the state owns your kids?
youre just the custodian?..

Zeuro · 26-30, F

@TheOneyouwerewarnedabout wdyem, parents are “second” to their kids?? Are kids not allowed any autonomy whatsoever?

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@TheOneyouwerewarnedabout Parents aren't automatically the best for children. So yeah sometimes a teacher or others can be a better help.

BeefySenpie · M

I disagree. Parents need to give their permission for a child to take a Panadol if they have a headache, yet if they're changing gender the parents have no right to know? Yeah, that makes total sense

Bumbles · 51-55, M

Better to at least stick with male/female til age of majority. Oh, sorry, that would be reasonable. Can’t happen then.

Zeuro · 26-30, F

@Bumbles ????? What? If a trans child ever wants a chance at “passing” then intervening by puberty is crucial. Besides, you don’t need to be a whole ass 18 year old to know something as simple as whether you’re a boy or a girl. By puberty 99% of trans kids know which gender is theirs.

Bumbles · 51-55, M

@Zeuro Maybe with parental consent and age 16, but lots of counseling to be sure.

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

Either they violated the parents rights or they violated the child’s rights. They have exposure either way.

SW-User

You have a point in the last paragraph. Having said that, it is disgraceful that any legislation can allow a situation where a school can keep this a secret from parents. That legislation is being changed, correctly, in UK.

I pity the poor teachers.

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SunshineGirl · 36-40, F

@SW-User When I was at school some people protested against their children learning national curriculum sex education for fear it would encourage them to identify as gay. These 'fears' will pass, but the damage to a marginalised child will last a lifetime

SW-User

@SunshineGirl I think thats correct but my point was that schools should not have the right to keep information on gender id from parents. Everyone needs to be involved.

SunshineGirl · 36-40, F

@SW-User A more constructive partnership between parents and teachers is defunitely a good starting point.

SunshineGirl · 36-40, F

Exactly. Placing adults' religious rights above the dignity, safety and welfare of a child looks particularly trivial. I hope this lawsuit receives the contempt it deserves. What exactly are they actually trying to achieve after they have already demonstrated paramount control by withdrawing the poor child from his school?

Torsten · 36-40, M

@SunshineGirl as much as you may dislike it but parents have way more rights when it comes to their children than schools do and the school hiding things from parents is not acceptable.

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

The parent's are right. The school should never had hidden this from the parent's

pdockal · 56-60, M

The school is WRONG

Zeuro · 26-30, F

@pdockal actually, [i]you’re[/i] wrong

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

Buckholmes69 · 51-55, M

I will home school you

elafina · 36-40, F

They're going to lose their child this way...:(

SunshineGirl · 36-40, F

@elafina Unfortunately not before he has been through more years of poor parenting.

elafina · 36-40, F

@SunshineGirl you know diamonds sprout out of pressure and lotus flowers out of the mud... This life ways are incomprehensible

Torsten · 36-40, M

parents are in the right

OliRos · 18-21, F

Right.

Justenjoyit · 56-60, M

I think everyone should have got in to a room and talked about it first, the kid might grow up to hate its parents now.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@Justenjoyit You don't think that would have happened anyway when the kid is trans in an extreme religious household?

Justenjoyit · 56-60, M

@Queendragonfly Most probably, but at least it might have saved all the embarrassment of the court case and the school change. Where I live in this situation a government body would be getting involved anyway for the interest of the child.

travelguy01 · 41-45, M

Unfortunately people don’t have free will or rights of their own in these ultra religious cults, especially children.

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

The kid would tell their parents if they felt comfortable. They didn’t tell them because they knew they would react badly. I don’t think the school needs to tell the parents.

MethDozer · M

The only thing that arguing the school should have notified the parents about it does is cause more closeting by kids which accomplishes what exactly?
It's a schools primary job to make sure kids feel safe and comfortable going to school. That's it. Making kids safe and they did nothing that jeopardizes that.
Now if the school was making recommendations or showing them the door to a transition doctor that would be an entirely different thing.

Zeuro · 26-30, F

@MethDozer yes exactly fr. And the fact that the parents freaked out and pulled him out of the school as punishment just shows how his comfort and safety is NOT their priority. No they’re top priority is forcing their Christian views on their child at the expense of his mental wellbeing

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