Why did you get kicked out of Target? Wanna play? 🤣

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Why did you get kicked out of Target?

Wanna play? 🤣

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Skinnyunderwearboy1991 · 31-35, M

My dads

I caressed my meat because you don't know my life

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Skinnyunderwearboy1991 I'm guessing most Dad's have caressed their meat before too. 🤣

SW-User

I licked a kitchenAid mixer because I’m classy AF 😂👩🏼‍🍳

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@SW-User We can't even be trusted in Target after 40. 😋

Teslin · M

I caressed Joanna Gaines because I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

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Teslin · M

@Bexsy Sorry 😞

Bexsy

@Teslin no.

You're not... 🤭

Teslin · M

@Bexsy Well, I can pretend to be

Threepio

I told them I was left unsupervised......

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Threepio thats probably something you would really do.

Elegy · 46-50

I Wrestled with a jar of Nutella because I'm classy AF!

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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Elegy Im sure it would turn out great if you did!

Elegy · 46-50

@PerfectIllusion

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Elegy 🤣 I can see my daughter doing that!

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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@SW-User 🤣 cheap date.

SW-User

@SW-User Jennifer Connelly - sweeeet!

Longpatrol · 31-35, M

I caressed a kitchen aid mixer because my MIL is in town

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Longpatrol MILs make us do crazy things. 🤣

QueenOfTheNerds · 41-45, F

I screamed at Trump because you don’t know my life. 🤨

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@QueenOfTheNerds 🤣 I'm sure many people would love to scream at Trump too!

Skinnyunderwearboy1991 · 31-35, M

I wrestled with a package of ham because my MIL is in town

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Skinnyunderwearboy1991 🤣 This made me laugh out loud.

Skinnyunderwearboy1991 · 31-35, M

@PerfectIllusion 😂😂🤣🤣

meJess · F

Do men get kicked out of Target because they can’t hit the target?

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@meJess some men have good aim. 😆

Lackwittyname · M

I fondled a hobo because you don't know my life and I hate cleaning (wearing a black shirt with a purple sweater on top).

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Lackwittyname You must have been desperate...a hobo... 😖 lol

DaveyWavey01 · M

I danced with a Christmas tree because I'm classy af

I mean, who hasn't? 🤣

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@DaveyWavey01 You havent lived until you've danced with a Christmas tree. 🤣

DaveyWavey01 · M

@PerfectIllusion amen to that

Pretzel · 61-69, M

without going into detail...I think I either owe Ed Sheeran and apology or I have to marry him.

Barebum61 · 61-69, M

I danced with ed sheeran because home goods was closed

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Barebum61 I wouldn't mind dancing with Ed Sheeran. 😊

BiasForAction · M

I fondled a honey badger? That would be a new low

MoonaNorth86 · 36-40, F

@BiasForAction what is a honey badger?

BiasForAction · M

@MoonaNorth86 it’s an animal that would attack if fondled

bobhall5868 · 56-60, M

I wrestled with a mop because my MIL is in town....sounds like a good reason to me!

TheOrionbeltseeker · 36-40, M

I liked a package of ham because you don't know my life.

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@TheOrionbeltseeker That must be some good ham. 🤣

TheOrionbeltseeker · 36-40, M

@PerfectIllusion Surely 🙂

Ducky · 31-35, F

I stroked my lover because you don’t know my life. 🤪

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Ducky 🤣 Getting risqué in Target.

TeirdalinFirefall · 31-35, M

"I sang to a mop, because I'm bringing sexy back."

Impressive that this actually makes coherent sentences.

V00doo

I fondled a pair of heels because you dont know my life

😌

This is extremely accurate.

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@V00doo 🤣 That sounds therapeutic.

Lilymoon · F

I danced with a cactus because I love Pete the cat.
WTF 🤭

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Lilymoon lmao...that sounds painful!

Quimliqer · 70-79, M

I fondled my meat because I’m classy af!!

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Quimliqer In public! I see why you got kicked out!

nedkelly · 61-69, M

I smacked my lover - as she groaned in pleasure

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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Stereoguy too late...the secret is out now. 😋

nedkelly · 61-69, M

@Stereoguy I said LOVER, not wife 😁

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vetguy1991 · 51-55, M

I poked trump lol

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@vetguy1991 oh lord..🤣

WindTherapy · 56-60, M

I gently touched Joanna Gaines because my MIL is in town.....🤣

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@WindTherapy A true gentleman. 🤣

SalttyDawg · 70-79, M

I gently touched a stray cat because I’m bringing sexy back 🤷‍♂️ It is what it is 😀

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@SalttyDawg That sounds dangerous!

SalttyDawg · 70-79, M

@PerfectIllusion I hear ya 👍. lol

SW-User

I gently touched another customer because you don’t know my life

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@SW-User 🤣 At least you were gentle.

BiasForAction · M

I fondled a honey badger? Geez I should get thrown out of target and thrown in jail

SW-User

I licked Adam Levine because I haven't slept since 2011

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@SW-User I mean.. I wouldnt mind licking Adam Levine. 🤷‍♀️🤣

SW-User

@PerfectIllusion Join in, tastes a bit like chicken

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@SW-User 😳 chicken

pride49 · 31-35, M

I caressed a hobo because the human head weighs 8 pounds

Ambroseguy80 · 56-60, M

I kicked Ed Sheeran 😬 🦵🏻

HootyTheNightOwl

I screamed at my butt because you don't know my life...

(and no, I didn't use my actual birth date - I used my joined date).

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@HootyTheNightOwl 🤣 I hope it helped!

hunkalove · 61-69, M

I fondled your mom because I'm classy!

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@hunkalove well..alrighty then. 🤣

MoonaNorth86 · 36-40, F

I’ve never been kicked out of anything

Teslin · M

I caressed my vag because you don't know my life 😳

SW-User

I caressed a jar of Nutella because the human head weighs 8 lbs.

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@SW-User 🤣

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

I stroked Katy Perry because you don't know my life

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@basilfawlty89 Sounds like you had a good time! 🤣

basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M

@PerfectIllusion I mean, I wouldn't say no, so...

SarahAndSamantha · 51-55, T

I stroked your mom because my MIL is in town

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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@SW-User Define poked! 😏🤣

SW-User

@PerfectIllusion 😏🤭

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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Synyster why does this sound exactly like something you'd do! 🤣

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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Stereoguy 🤣 Some of these are hilarious.

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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@Stereoguy You're welcome. I always like a little light-hearted fun here. Thanks for playing along. 😊

empanadas · 31-35, M

I stroked a glass of wine because the human head weighs 8lbs

PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F

@empanadas 😂

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