Why did you get kicked out of Target?

I licked a kitchenAid mixer because I’m classy AF 😂👩🏼‍🍳

I caressed Joanna Gaines because I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

I told them I was left unsupervised......

I Wrestled with a jar of Nutella because I'm classy AF!

I caressed a kitchen aid mixer because my MIL is in town

I screamed at Trump because you don’t know my life. 🤨

I wrestled with a package of ham because my MIL is in town

Do men get kicked out of Target because they can’t hit the target?

I fondled a hobo because you don't know my life and I hate cleaning (wearing a black shirt with a purple sweater on top).

I danced with a Christmas tree because I'm classy af

I mean, who hasn't? 🤣

without going into detail...I think I either owe Ed Sheeran and apology or I have to marry him.

I danced with ed sheeran because home goods was closed

I fondled a honey badger? That would be a new low

I wrestled with a mop because my MIL is in town....sounds like a good reason to me!

I liked a package of ham because you don't know my life.

I stroked my lover because you don’t know my life. 🤪

"I sang to a mop, because I'm bringing sexy back."

Impressive that this actually makes coherent sentences.

I fondled a pair of heels because you dont know my life

😌


This is extremely accurate.