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I wrestled with a package of ham because my MIL is in town
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Skinnyunderwearboy1991 🤣 This made me laugh out loud.
@PerfectIllusion 😂😂🤣🤣

SW-User
I licked a kitchenAid mixer because I’m classy AF 😂👩🏼‍🍳
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@SW-User We can't even be trusted in Target after 40. 😋
Teslin · M
I caressed Joanna Gaines because I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.
Teslin · M
@Bexsy Sorry 😞
@Teslin no.

You're not... 🤭
Teslin · M
@Bexsy Well, I can pretend to be
I told them I was left unsupervised......


PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Threepio thats probably something you would really do.
Elegy · 46-50
I Wrestled with a jar of Nutella because I'm classy AF!
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Elegy Im sure it would turn out great if you did!
Elegy · 46-50
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Elegy 🤣 I can see my daughter doing that!
This message was deleted by its author.
This message was deleted by its author.
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@SW-User 🤣 cheap date.
SW-User
@SW-User Jennifer Connelly - sweeeet!
Longpatrol · 31-35, M
I caressed a kitchen aid mixer because my MIL is in town
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Longpatrol MILs make us do crazy things. 🤣
QueenOfTheNerds · 41-45, F
I screamed at Trump because you don’t know my life. 🤨
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@QueenOfTheNerds 🤣 I'm sure many people would love to scream at Trump too!
meJess · F
Do men get kicked out of Target because they can’t hit the target?
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@meJess some men have good aim. 😆
I fondled a hobo because you don't know my life and I hate cleaning (wearing a black shirt with a purple sweater on top).
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Lackwittyname You must have been desperate...a hobo... 😖 lol
I danced with a Christmas tree because I'm classy af

I mean, who hasn't? 🤣
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@DaveyWavey01 You havent lived until you've danced with a Christmas tree. 🤣
@PerfectIllusion amen to that
Pretzel · 61-69, M
without going into detail...I think I either owe Ed Sheeran and apology or I have to marry him.
Barebum61 · 61-69, M
I danced with ed sheeran because home goods was closed
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Barebum61 I wouldn't mind dancing with Ed Sheeran. 😊
I fondled a honey badger? That would be a new low
MoonaNorth86 · 36-40, F
@BiasForAction what is a honey badger?
@MoonaNorth86 it’s an animal that would attack if fondled
bobhall5868 · 56-60, M
I wrestled with a mop because my MIL is in town....sounds like a good reason to me!
TheOrionbeltseeker · 36-40, M
I liked a package of ham because you don't know my life.
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@TheOrionbeltseeker That must be some good ham. 🤣
TheOrionbeltseeker · 36-40, M
@PerfectIllusion Surely 🙂
Ducky · 31-35, F
I stroked my lover because you don’t know my life. 🤪
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Ducky 🤣 Getting risqué in Target.
TeirdalinFirefall · 31-35, M
"I sang to a mop, because I'm bringing sexy back."

Impressive that this actually makes coherent sentences.
I fondled a pair of heels because you dont know my life

😌


This is extremely accurate.
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@V00doo 🤣 That sounds therapeutic.
Lilymoon · F
I danced with a cactus because I love Pete the cat.
WTF 🤭
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Lilymoon lmao...that sounds painful!
Quimliqer · 70-79, M
I fondled my meat because I’m classy af!!
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Quimliqer In public! I see why you got kicked out!
nedkelly · 61-69, M
I smacked my lover - as she groaned in pleasure
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Stereoguy too late...the secret is out now. 😋
nedkelly · 61-69, M
@Stereoguy I said LOVER, not wife 😁
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vetguy1991 · 51-55, M
I poked trump lol
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@vetguy1991 oh lord..🤣
WindTherapy · 56-60, M
I gently touched Joanna Gaines because my MIL is in town.....🤣
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@WindTherapy A true gentleman. 🤣
SalttyDawg · 70-79, M
I gently touched a stray cat because I’m bringing sexy back 🤷‍♂️ It is what it is 😀
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@SalttyDawg That sounds dangerous!
SalttyDawg · 70-79, M
@PerfectIllusion I hear ya 👍. lol
SW-User
I gently touched another customer because you don’t know my life
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@SW-User 🤣 At least you were gentle.
My dads

I caressed my meat because you don't know my life
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Skinnyunderwearboy1991 I'm guessing most Dad's have caressed their meat before too. 🤣
I fondled a honey badger? Geez I should get thrown out of target and thrown in jail
SW-User
I licked Adam Levine because I haven't slept since 2011
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@SW-User I mean.. I wouldnt mind licking Adam Levine. 🤷‍♀️🤣
SW-User
@PerfectIllusion Join in, tastes a bit like chicken
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@SW-User 😳 chicken
pride49 · 31-35, M
I caressed a hobo because the human head weighs 8 pounds
Ambroseguy80 · 56-60, M
I kicked Ed Sheeran 😬 🦵🏻
I screamed at my butt because you don't know my life...

(and no, I didn't use my actual birth date - I used my joined date).
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@HootyTheNightOwl 🤣 I hope it helped!
hunkalove · 61-69, M
I fondled your mom because I'm classy!
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@hunkalove well..alrighty then. 🤣
MoonaNorth86 · 36-40, F
I’ve never been kicked out of anything
Teslin · M
I caressed my vag because you don't know my life 😳
SW-User
I caressed a jar of Nutella because the human head weighs 8 lbs.
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@SW-User 🤣
basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M
I stroked Katy Perry because you don't know my life
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@basilfawlty89 Sounds like you had a good time! 🤣
basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M
@PerfectIllusion I mean, I wouldn't say no, so...
SarahAndSamantha · 51-55, T
I stroked your mom because my MIL is in town
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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@SW-User Define poked! 😏🤣
SW-User
@PerfectIllusion 😏🤭
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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Synyster why does this sound exactly like something you'd do! 🤣
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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Stereoguy 🤣 Some of these are hilarious.
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PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@Stereoguy You're welcome. I always like a little light-hearted fun here. Thanks for playing along. 😊
empanadas · 31-35, M
I stroked a glass of wine because the human head weighs 8lbs
PerfectIllusion · 46-50, F
@empanadas 😂

 
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