You can't hold on to the floor.

When you assume you're going home and end up entering your neighbor's home

Never drink:
1: Alone
2: Before noon

If I EVER say anything even remotely positive about Trump.. then you know I am as pissed as a fart.. I'd have to be completely out of my mind to even begin to think kindly of him..

When I drink too much, then I see a red light blinking in front of my eyes... That's why I never get more than tipsy...

If I put alcohol in my glass, I am guaranteed to be drinking too much.

One drink makes me feel happy and relaxed. Two drinks make me feels as though I am really enjoying my little party, and I lose enough of my inhibitions at the end of the second drink to decide that a third drink is a great idea...and possibly a fourth! If it goes that far, I am usually miserable for the next three days.

You listen to a Democrat speak, and he makes sense. 😜

When you hit on your own girlfriend

Well consuming alcohol is much like putting water in your fuel tank, it's not what it is designed to consume, so...

nimbus I start to warm to and like Donald trump 😀

You get all pissed off and send a nasty drunk message.
Not me .... I got the message.
Hahahaha

Start to fret when there is only one beer left in the fridge.

Keep seeing more snooker balls on the table

I wake up on the floor.

When you fall over and can’t get up 🙂

Bartender will let you know

When I'm numb

uhh Puking maybe ?