[b]You know you're British when.....[/b]

1. You leave the house with all you need....including an umbrella....Because you never know !
2. The top three items on your grocery list are tea; beer and curry !
3. You translate Customer Service as "How may i appear to help you ?"
4. No rain three days in a row sees an outbreak of shorts everywhere.
5. You're prepared to spend nearly 3 quid on a sandwich stuck in a box you need a flickknife and a PhD in engineering to open.
6. You get into University to study your chosen course. Only to emerge three years later with a debt the size of a mortgage and a career in Customer Service beckoning.
7. You'll spend upwards of 500 quid every year to go and watch a team that never seem to rise above 10th place in the league, happily pay 4 quid for a programme filled with ads for companies selling everything from plumbing services to accountancy; pay another three quid for a pie and a cup of tea that you don't really like, and afterwards tell yourself you had a good time !
8. Get embarrassed by the remotest hint of jingoism. eg: Eurovision Song Contest; World Cup Finals; Olympics; Last night of the Proms etc.
9. Begrudgingly partake of the "Company Christmas do". This is where your workplace has that ONE person who takes it upon themselves to organize a meal at a restaurant close to Christmas. And because they don't TRUST you, asks that all those WILLING to participate SIGN UP to it. Thus putting you in that unenviable position of looking like a complete ➖ should you fail to do so !
10. You're prepared to go to a Cricket test match, At LORDS,pay a fortune to get in, and you're dressed as a Smurf !

You say "biscuit" instead of "cookie."
You say "boot" instead of "trunk."
You say "pour me a pint" instead of just "pour me one."
You say "shite" instead of "sh*t."
Every other word is "c*nt." Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little but you guys do use it a lot.

you never talk about anything to your family

Eat fish and chips and drink cup of tea.

You complain about the weather no matter what it's like.

You can't remember your wife's birthday, but you know Sir Alex Ferguson's. 😜

You’ve gotten into a fist fight over a football game. Specifically you punched an American while saying “Stop calling it soccer ⚽️ “

You eat beans on toast

You never leave home without an umberella

when ---- you think wearing [b][c=#BF0000]Bright Red Coats[/c][/b] is a smashing idea when going to war in the American forests during the Revolution

Americans assume you live in a Castle or Stately Home 😂😂

You have bad teeth and eat shitty food

You drink PG Tips tea and go to 'Last Night of the Proms'

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpEWpK_Dl7M]

You say “sorry,” even when you’re in the right.

You know that not all biscuits are referred to as cookies

You get depressed at the end of the cricket season!

It's always bloody raining!

When you shout “Whaahey” when someone drops something.

you were born and raised there and remain there.

....when you can't move your upper lip...LOL!!!

Tea.

That's it, just tea.

Yer elderly mum pesters you to get off the chesterfield and turn off the footy.

...USA people envy your English? 😊

You never get overly emotional about anything.

you party like crazy in other countries.😜

you make a balloon of an orange guy in a diaper.

You call an afternoon meal "high tea".

you have an eel pie after a good caning

You need a license to watch TV, 😂

Drink tea for breakfast. Call vacation a holiday, elevator a lift, and a cookie a biscuit. 😀 Lord when we teach em how to talk... 😂

when the people online say so
days ago, I've been told I am from the UK
I was very surprised

Even though it's silly, you still have a royal family.

Size of your brain, compared to the tiny American ones.

( Sits back & waits for abuse!)

When the colour of your teeth matches the colour of your tea?

You eat a '99.Bet the Americans haven't a clue like on Buzz50!

nimbus your stiff upper lip

You get this joke.
[c=#009E4F]What is the difference between a surry and a car ?
A car cost more money ? [/c]

Jolly Good

You will eat anything that has the word ( sheep or kidney ) in it.🤢

You can't choose between the cricket or the football, g&t, suns out so get your shorts on, fish and chips, pie and mash, and everything is solved by "shall I put the kettle on?"

It says so on your passport ?