I Am a Child Abuse Survivor

If you want to fight back when people tell you that you're worthless, then the trick is to learn to know yourself. If you don't know who you are, then you can't really fight their ugly views of you, not with any real strength, because you keep wondering if maybe they might be right.

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SW-User

There is a lot of truth to this. The problem is, as you seek to get to know yourself, you often see yourself through the lens of abuse....seeing only the bad and not the good, or feeling the bad far outweighs the good. That is such a struggle.

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

Yup - nine steps forward and eight steps back. Eight steps toward thinking you've learned something about yourself when really you're just twisting things, and nine steps toward actually learning who you really are, then 16 steps back when you go off course for a while, and then 3 steps forward, and then 17 MORE steps back, but then you manage to figure something out that helps you go 38 steps forward. And at the end of the day, with any luck, you eventually get to look back and see just how far you've come.

ThePaleHorseman · 26-30, M

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” -Albert Camus.

Sssslm · F

i have the same problem too. my mother kept on mentally and physically abused me. i was grabbed at the throat by a classmate 20 yrs ago, couldn't breathe and was almost choked to death but i did nothing to stop her or told the teacher or anyone. later when i worked my colleagues kept on verbally abused me criticizing my appearance and everything i did eventually verbally sexually harassed me and i did nothing. i thought i was wrong for my whole life and tried to change myself to adapt thinking it was good to improve myself. i was wrong, and i hate my mother for life for teaching me it was right and justified for people to abuse me.

LadyWioness · 56-60, F

Or develop a thick skin, and not care what they think. When someone really knows you, they know you're not

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

I can dig that, especially in the moment when you have to deal with the assholes spitting their shit at you. But afterwards, when I'm processing it, I'd rather bounce off criticism because I know that it's not true, instead of bouncing it off automatically without considering it. A thick skin without self knowledge is just self-faith, based on automatic assumption, which can be ego as easily as it can be strength. I'd rather stand tall based on a self-belief born from self knowledge.

Peppa · 31-35, F

Wise words... still learning.

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

Me too.

Peppa · 31-35, F

@BlueDiver: you know I've *got your back k

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