Am I just Cold-hearted?

I noticed that you are perplexed.
You seem to be more excited about my progress than I am.
You go out of your way for me to understand how far I've come. That the hard work I've done is paying off.
I am grateful.

Guarded I am.
From wating to express excitement.
From having those neurons fire and jump and give me that high.
No.. because even if close my eyes just for a sec.
Let that excitement in

It becomes fear and tears
Anxiety consumes me
Because I know there is a price to pay for feeling all that excitement just around the corner.

I've been told I'm just cold-hearted.
I guess that's what you become when numbness sets in.

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Iwantyourhotwife · 22-25

Not numbness, reluctance

I hope one day you find someone who lets your heart roam free around them. You'll see that you're okay

Be strong and realize there is no price to pay. Only someone who tries to take your light away

CheshireAzur · 36-40, F

@Iwantyourhotwife Thank you.

Justme5868 · 36-40, M

Check this out I sent it tonight

To the one who won't stop :

I don't know what to say I have just been at home and recovering from a car accident and haven't been active at all or up for entertaining people I've been in bed very sore ... I don't know what I have done to cause any of this in your life but if I am the cause of it then I don't want to drive you crazy everyday... I'm a quiet person and I like my space and at the moment enjoy being at home with my family and I feel awkward because I have nothing ... I've got no money no real secure job and I'm busy finding my self or trying to ... so the anxiety that comes with trying to act like I've got things going for me is a lie and exhausting for me to keep up ... I just need to get direction in my life and this has become a everyday all day avoiding or hiding or trying to find excuses why I'm just not capable of being a real man in your life or there every second because I'm still trying to find my feet and I need to know where I'm going and that I'm ok before I settle down with someone ... this is way to complicated for us only seeing each other on 2 occasions so you need to take it easy ... I'm sorry for anything I have done but I do not understand the problem there is a NA meeting tonight and u say guys won't stop messaging you ... so why am I so important and so necessary for you to be ok ... I'm not so great and my self worth is so slow at the moment I just don't understand ... I hope you understand what I am saying I am insecure anxious scared and very lost on where I am going in my life it's been a tough few years and I have lost everything I have ever loved or owned I'm fragile and fearful of disappointing everyone again and here it goes again a new person in my life I'm disappointing again .. please try and read this carefully it's not from a bad place it's the truth and I'm just feel like I'm not worth any of your trouble or effort at the moment I'm lost and confused and I wish I was a better more successful sure of him self man but I'm not I'm just trying to find who I am without drugs and I really don't know that answer yet but I hope I find out soon

HannahSky · F

Fear, no need to be afraid, really.

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