I wish today never happened.

Today my best friend (my cat)ran away I can't find her.
I am so sad. Depressed and desperate.
My life has been really tuff recently and she was the only light in my life. I have never cried like today in all my life. Honestly today was the last straw I don't think I will be able to recover.

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dancingtongue · 80-89, M

As others have said, she may come back. Even if spayed, she may be on the prowl for male companionship. Worst case scenario is that encountered a predator or car she couldn't get away from, in which case you should be mourning and not feeling abandoned. If she doesn't return, there are lots of cats in the Humane Society shelters desperately needing adoption to save THEIR lives.