Oop. I was inadvertently rude to him again today. It's just my reflex now when I have to interact with him at work, because I do NOT respect him.

But when I came back home, I felt guilty for treating him like this. Today, he even retaliated for the first time. I retreated so as not to escalate things because I love my job 🫠
But the guilt isn't leaving me. This is not the person I am. I don't know what's up with me.

I do have a brilliant idea.

Go to him tomorrow at work, apologise, and explain why I was reflexively rude to him: I don't respect cheaters, and it's hard for me to respect him while he's cheated on and humiliated his fiancee. But I'll tell him that I'll try to hide my disrespect for him as best as possible.
🥹
I just really want to be transparent. So he should understand that he deserves every bit of it.

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SW-User

Just keep in mind that other peoples relationships are none of your concern. If he isn't cheating on you, leave it be. Keep your interactions with him to a minimum if possible.

assemblingaknob · 31-35, F

@SW-User yes but he was cheating on someone else with me. And I didn't know he was taken.

SW-User

@assemblingaknob I see. Then it's personal and understandable. Just try to keep it professional which I know is a huge ask, but emotions aren't going to do you any good in this case.

deadgerbil · 26-30, M

That would be interesting to say. Hopefully it doesn't cause more issues

GuyWithOpinions · 31-35, M

Thats a hard situation to be in. Id be stressed out all the time.

bhatjc · 46-50, M

Sounds like a good idea.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

There's a reason to stay the heck out of a co workers private lives. And why many jobs discourage it. Both in co worker relationships and private relationships.

Office gossip is the worst form of that. No gossip, no problems.

Iwillwait · M

I recommend you hold your tongue, say nothing and cease communication with him.

assemblingaknob · 31-35, F

@Iwillwait I have zero communication with him besides having to meet over office tasks once a week. That's when the worst happens. :(

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

As I see it. You don't owe him shit. If you're confronting him , tell him he owes you a big fat apology. And that you will never forgive him but you will accept him as a coworker.

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assemblingaknob · 31-35, F

@LordShadowfire um. Well. It's not his business entirely because he was physically intimate with me while being secretly engaged. So. It made me feel extremely dirty when I found out. And he tried to guilt trip me for it and slutshamed me, while being the cheater himself!

LordShadowfire · 46-50, M

@assemblingaknob I stand corrected. Fuck that guy. Stand up to him.

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