Time to delete it all, I tried to tell you what I wanted to to say, tell you all the things I’ve been holding in for so long…

Why did you say that if you clearly didn’t actually mean it?…
Was it some kind of game to you, an ego boost to see if I was still thinking about it, did you show everyone and all have a good laugh about how delusional I must be to believe it. Ugh, why did I believe that you would actually do something, that you would actually mean what you say. I thought I could feel you, that I could hear you in my mind, calling for me, reaching out, thinking about me the same way I was thinking about you, then suddenly your name appeared on my phone. I thought did he fell me thinking about him, or did I feel him thinking about me. Doesn’t matter now though does it. So why, why did you reach out because what you said and how you suddenly deleted and disappeared just like you always have, are two very different things. I thought maybe this time I could finally let my guard down and tell you some of the things I’ve been feeling. Why did I type it out and let it stay sent there. I won’t ever even know if you saw any of it. Fucking paragraphs, like wtf was I thinking. Im such a fool. I should have never accepted it, because every time I have, every time I feel like I can let my guard down, you disappear and make me realize why I never should have from the beginning. You’ll never know how much you changed my life or how much you’ve hurt me. You’ll never know about the nights I stayed awake crying and fighting myself about why I feel the way I do. How silly of me to believe that you might have actually cared, that you could have ever been thinking or feeling the same things I have all this time. One minute you’re there, and boom, then your gone, I told myself I would give you the weekend, before I started getting rid of it all, I even unblocked you over there, but regrettably I saw again, you’ve made it very clear, so it’s my turn, now, I’m gone….