Jayciedubb · 56-60, M
I know the feeling. I tried to alter our family relations over 20 years ago. When they resisted, severed ties with them, then they "SWATted" me and that made it all final. I'm only just now reconnecting with my sister.
After hanging out with sis, and hearing all the stories, I can't imagine ever seeing my patents again, and what bothers me most about it. What makes me sad is that it doesn't bother me or make me sad and it should. That's ok though, because they don't seem to be bothered or sad about it either.
My boys were todlers. Now they're 25. It's too late to do any meaningful grandparenting. They proved incapable of doing any meaningful parenting so I doubt they had any good grandparenting in them either, meaningful or otherwise
The only positive spin i can put on these sorts of dysfunctional family relations and the approach i took to address everything is how peaceful my holidays have been
After hanging out with sis, and hearing all the stories, I can't imagine ever seeing my patents again, and what bothers me most about it. What makes me sad is that it doesn't bother me or make me sad and it should. That's ok though, because they don't seem to be bothered or sad about it either.
My boys were todlers. Now they're 25. It's too late to do any meaningful grandparenting. They proved incapable of doing any meaningful parenting so I doubt they had any good grandparenting in them either, meaningful or otherwise
The only positive spin i can put on these sorts of dysfunctional family relations and the approach i took to address everything is how peaceful my holidays have been
AngelaR80 · 46-50, F
This rings so true with me. My dad always seemed to annoy me throughout my life, he had very definite views about how my life should be. I went along for years but finally it wasn't who I was. He passed earlier this year we had reconciled to a point but like you said now there's no ever fixing what was broken between us. I'm doing a lot of learning to accept that. Best wishes to you for your journey.
GoFish ·
sorry but at least you kept your kid safe from bad influence/vibes 😐
Ohplease47 · F
496sbc · 41-45, M
so sorry
GrinNude · 61-69, C
Your dad probable grew up in a dysfunctional family and perhaps he was doing the best he could with what he had. We are all works in progress. And we all suffer from our shortcomings. Peace and love.
TheHammer · M
I am probably out of place with my comment but him making racist remarks about my kid would have been the end of it. I would have not been grieving him now because he would have been dead that day.
We do not get to choose our family, were thrown with them. Some times they are good and nurturing, sometimes they are not. Not our fault.
Sorry if this doesn't help and I mean no disrespect but nope. Not me.
We do not get to choose our family, were thrown with them. Some times they are good and nurturing, sometimes they are not. Not our fault.
Sorry if this doesn't help and I mean no disrespect but nope. Not me.
PeachySkies · 22-25, F
@TheHammer it’s not so much that i am grieving him, but the relationship i always wished we had. like i said in the post i look at my cousins and my friends with their dads and always thought wow, they are so lucky and i just wish i had that. it makes me sad that i don’t.
i’m so grateful though that my daughter will never feel neglected. she’s got sooo many ppl in her life that love her including an incredible dad. i love that for her🫶🏼
i’m so grateful though that my daughter will never feel neglected. she’s got sooo many ppl in her life that love her including an incredible dad. i love that for her🫶🏼
Sojournersoul · M
Moh1992 · 31-35, M
As a father I try to overcome thoughts about my parents so it doesn't shadow my relationship with my kids.
Pianoman · 31-35, M
Sorry for your sad loss. Whatever this man's flaws may have been, he was your father. Remember him, obviously, but don't romanticise those memories as he obviously let you down in so many ways, and failed to be the parent he should have been to you. Really, he was a foolish man to deny himself the joy of your love and adoration, and he obviously had deep-seated issues of his own that were not properly addressed. Try to remember him for the brighter moments there may have been, and put the rest in a box and bury it in the deepest recesses of your mind, labelled "No Value", as negativity is not your suit, who you are as a person I'm sure.
Maybe write a poem, channelling all your emotions, and try to draw a line under the past, do not allow it to define you. Someone once said Even God cannot change the past - it was what it was, and the important thing is that you learn from it and do not repeat any of your late dad's foolish mstakes.yourself. I hope there were other positive male role-models in your life, and my advice to you is to focus on those and remind yourself there are better peoole in the world.
Maybe write a poem, channelling all your emotions, and try to draw a line under the past, do not allow it to define you. Someone once said Even God cannot change the past - it was what it was, and the important thing is that you learn from it and do not repeat any of your late dad's foolish mstakes.yourself. I hope there were other positive male role-models in your life, and my advice to you is to focus on those and remind yourself there are better peoole in the world.
Pianoman · 31-35, M
@PeachySkies You're welcome.
therighttothink50 · 61-69, M
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