living in fear of a loved one departing and leaving you

i know i've asked variants of this before, but it's something which really terrifies me....i fear deeply my elderly mother who i'm very close to and highly dependent on, i fear her departing this life and leaving me on my own in such a terrifying world?

i live alone, as i have done for 20 years in a little apartment , i have no support system apart from mainly my mum, and dad, but mainly my wonderful mum, i also live with difficult mental problems......i love my mother dearly and don't want my mum to leave me?....my mother lives far from me now, about 1 hours drive...and i see my mum now mainly at xmas time.......my mum phones me four times a day......which i'm so appreciative of and i always tell her how much i love her.....my mums doing good for her age.

can anyone help?

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CloudAngel80 · 41-45, F

I prepared for the loss of my mom when I was 14 yrs old..she had a car wreck and it was caused by a faulty break line...wrapped her car around a light poll, it broke her jaw bone, split her wide open, knocked out all her teeth, an i had to witness it in a dream 4 days before my birthday. Coming home from school on the school bus, ON MY 14TH BIRTHDAY, 4 days after this dream, i was not mentally prepared to see it ! But, thank God she survived and lived until i was 29. The sad part is we love them, but when we dont get loved in return, or bad vibes come out, we have to accept the facts of life. EVERYONE lives and EVERYONE dies..NOBODY STAUS in your life ever! Friends or family gets married, have kids, get old. Grand kids, etc. Cycle of life circles around. Myself. No kids, no family..just attend funerals and hear about weddings and banies and it gets annoying..to be almost 50 and feel alone, to fear the unknown when they still live is crazy. My advice...(Take it or leave it), get some recirculation, prepare for the worst senario, journal about it. Then have a strategy to accept death
Its inevitable yo avoid it. Once u accept it, you dont fear it
Hugs and prayers, hope it helps u. And oh, another thought, dont stop loving yourself, you are awesome 👏 😎