Please be honest do you feel like a loser being over the age of 30 working a retail and or food service job? Personally I'm in retail and I feel it
I never went to college because I felt I didn't need a piece of paper to prove to people I was smart or worthy which sounded noble at the time. I still don't really feel that college is meant for me because it doesn't excite me and I don't know what to do anyway. Then there's the financial aspect of it all. I wasn't willing to take on that amount of debt at the time for not knowing what to do with myself. I still don't know what to do and I'm 35 here come december.
They say comparison is the thief of joy but it's human to compare and it's human to see how you measure up. Well it's pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that I do not measure up at all. On paper and in practice I'm just some mid 30's loser with no career, living in a crappy apartment, no family of my own just sort of drifting through life. I mean shoot I don't even have a car right now or any money in my bank account because I make just enough to cover my bills and not a whole lot to work with after. Meanwhile I look at my brother who has all the markings of success, I look at my best friend who has done well for himself, I look at others I graduated with back in the day who have their own shops, careers, heck one lady got her own realtor billboard recently. It's hard not to feel so small and insignificant when you see others living it up like Larry. I am glad they are doing well but it still stings. There's still that voice in my head that says you got the better grades why isn't that you. They partied hard in school and you were a diligent student an academic and here you are a loser selling vapes to people.
A man possessed and I never do this kind of stuff found the old Class of 2008 facebook page and I anonymously posted because I am a weenie about how in a few more years it will mark 20 years since we graduated and that I will not be attending any reunion because I accomplished nothing in life and have nothing to say to anyone. I wrote that I hope others have done better than I have. Shockingly people saw it and wrote nice things. I don't know what drove me to write all that because I never do things like that. I was nearly driven to download tiktok and go on a sob filled cry fest but I refrained because I do not want to put myself out there like that. I guess part of me wanted to know if there was anyone else out there like me. I spent my entire day off in bed mostly because I just couldn't move. I don't think I got out of bed until 1pm give or take and that was only because I needed to go to the bathroom.
They say comparison is the thief of joy but it's human to compare and it's human to see how you measure up. Well it's pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that I do not measure up at all. On paper and in practice I'm just some mid 30's loser with no career, living in a crappy apartment, no family of my own just sort of drifting through life. I mean shoot I don't even have a car right now or any money in my bank account because I make just enough to cover my bills and not a whole lot to work with after. Meanwhile I look at my brother who has all the markings of success, I look at my best friend who has done well for himself, I look at others I graduated with back in the day who have their own shops, careers, heck one lady got her own realtor billboard recently. It's hard not to feel so small and insignificant when you see others living it up like Larry. I am glad they are doing well but it still stings. There's still that voice in my head that says you got the better grades why isn't that you. They partied hard in school and you were a diligent student an academic and here you are a loser selling vapes to people.
A man possessed and I never do this kind of stuff found the old Class of 2008 facebook page and I anonymously posted because I am a weenie about how in a few more years it will mark 20 years since we graduated and that I will not be attending any reunion because I accomplished nothing in life and have nothing to say to anyone. I wrote that I hope others have done better than I have. Shockingly people saw it and wrote nice things. I don't know what drove me to write all that because I never do things like that. I was nearly driven to download tiktok and go on a sob filled cry fest but I refrained because I do not want to put myself out there like that. I guess part of me wanted to know if there was anyone else out there like me. I spent my entire day off in bed mostly because I just couldn't move. I don't think I got out of bed until 1pm give or take and that was only because I needed to go to the bathroom.
31-35, M
