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Do you ever wonder who you really are?

People sometimes say since the end of their marriage they don't know who they really are, or since a several years period during with an abusive partner , they lost who they are, what they like etc.
In my instance, domestic violence and psychological severe abuse began as a toddler for me. By the time age 6, I was consciously thinking about how to get people to like or accept me. I was being bullied at home daily. So I became at 6 , from then on, the ultimate people pleaser. Even my principal in grade school nicknamed me Smiley. But he had no idea I was the furthest from happy, that it was a diversion to my treatment at home.

So I became and acted small, shy, quiet, over the years. You had to, or I could have been badly hurt or worse.
Every self help book I'm reading says to not play small anymore, and to take up space. To fulfill your needs or wants. Sometimes I don't even know what I should want or what I DO need. I became an inhuman shell. I don't truly know who I am. Do you ever feel this way?
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StarLily · 51-55, F Best Comment
There's been moments in the past where I've wondered about this, but not anymore.

It's all "wiring/conditioning" of the brain as a result of our experiences in life. Or attachments, both healthy and toxic, that we become accustomed to.

It can be really difficult to work through sometimes. Especially when our brains and nervous systems do things to protect us from trauma - for example, different types of disassociation or fight-or-flight.

Coralmist · 41-45, F
@StarLily Thank you🌷
StarLily · 51-55, F
@Coralmist Aw, thank you for best answer.🤗
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@StarLily No problem 🦋
val70 · 51-55
@StarLily Thank you for that Coelho quote. It fits my own crossing the bridge anology
StarLily · 51-55, F
@val70 Glad you like it. It's one of my favorites, so often describing the path I'm walking.