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Do you ever wonder who you really are?

People sometimes say since the end of their marriage they don't know who they really are, or since a several years period during with an abusive partner , they lost who they are, what they like etc.
In my instance, domestic violence and psychological severe abuse began as a toddler for me. By the time age 6, I was consciously thinking about how to get people to like or accept me. I was being bullied at home daily. So I became at 6 , from then on, the ultimate people pleaser. Even my principal in grade school nicknamed me Smiley. But he had no idea I was the furthest from happy, that it was a diversion to my treatment at home.

So I became and acted small, shy, quiet, over the years. You had to, or I could have been badly hurt or worse.
Every self help book I'm reading says to not play small anymore, and to take up space. To fulfill your needs or wants. Sometimes I don't even know what I should want or what I DO need. I became an inhuman shell. I don't truly know who I am. Do you ever feel this way?
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kodiac · 22-25, M
Yes ,i found that the only way to survive the abuse was to become whatever the abusers needed me to be . It changed so many times i have no clue who i ever was .
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@kodiac It becomes a slow and insidious death of your soul, and Self. That you feel you're being literally erased and have no rights to "needs". I guess we just have to forge a new path each day, to rewrite the story .
kodiac · 22-25, M
@Coralmist Agreed ,when it happens so young it's like i wouldn't know the real me even if i found him.