How often do you decide if a relationship is worth rebuilding? What do you consider?

In family, friends, love life, etc.
Do you treat it all the same? I would think not. But what is the criteria you have? And can it be measured?

I have always thought that life is a gift, freely given. But when I give love, there is this hope that the one I choose to care for would also care for who and what I prioritize the most. Especially the people I value the most.

If I see they aren't, is where I draw the line. Because if I love someone, I'd care about the people and things he or she cares about too, or at least try to treat them decently enough (even if some of them are horrible and I'd rather not see or hear about).

But I also find myself in the position where a person cares for me, but I burned the bridges with those important to them. Now, that kind of relationship is the hardest to maintain at this point in my opinion. Because I always find myself questioning if they are handling my trust well or are breaking it behind my back.
It is not an easy place to be.

So there, you see the reason for my musings.

The easiest thing to hide and to show is love. The easiest thing to give is care. But why does it feel like aside from me, all the rest suck at showing it? That I found myself forced to adapt and learn to stop myself from showing it too. Hide it and don't offer help unless asked, even if you mean well. Because people will take you for granted or mock you otherwise. This is the adult world, and the children who are watching and experiencing eventually learn the same and follow the steps, it hurts.
But it's become partly about survival and protecting one's heart.
When and how did it become this way?
If talked about, would you even say it is right?

How do you survive? How do you live?

I really just want to understand how to live.

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Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

With friends, it's much easier to forgive and forget. It all boils down to the good times. Does the union create good times, or are they just a pastime, to pass time? Also, it depends on the reason for the breakup. If it was a money thing, let it go and learn your lesson.

For family, I can't give any advice. I have a difficult time forgiving family. It's too easy for me to hold a grudge.

Romantically, that's a tough call. It's one thing if the breakup was amicable and/or due to what I'll call inert issues, such as proximity to ech other has changed, completely different lifestyles or cultures, family acceptance, etc.

Any of those types of breakups are worth reexamining and could be resumed without much issue. It's when the breakup was due to a break of trust due to infidelity or betrayal that are hard to overcome. When trust has been broken, it shows their capabilities, their value or your trust and that there is a point when they will throw it all away

I think the the most successful relationships are when one of the two is a little bit more into the other one. They seem to last the longest. For me, a good partner is one who makes me strive to be a better person and the best version of myself, without it feeling like its a chore of any kind.

Don't expect anyone else to supply you with happiness. We all need to be able to find our own happiness and bring it with us to ADD to the relationship. Don't let anyone reky on you to provide them with their happiness. Thats not a relationship. That's an enablement, if that's such a word..

...and never offer anything you can't afford to lose. ..no matter how dire their situation seems to be. Anything given, should be given as a gift, not a loan. Lending anything with an expectation of a timely return usually results in negative feelings when its all over. ..even when its just a pair of shoes or something.