Today has been hard

Today my family and I have been hit with some hard news. I remembered this site and decided to come back on. I was asked not to say anything to my family by my mom.

My mom has been through a lot. She’s beat breast cancer and so many other things. My mom has Sarcoma, it’s a cancer that eats away at your bone and muscle. She is now an amputee. She recently went to the hospital last Friday due to her having a hard time breathing.

Found out she has pneumonia and fluid in her lungs. I went to visit my mama at the hospital and her oncology doctor said my mom is going to get some help from hospice. I looked at both the doctor and my mom and stayed silent until I asked the doctor what stage my mom is at and she told us stage 4. They haven’t told us until today. My mom had me swear to her to not tell my nieces. My oldest is an alcoholic and if we were to tell her she would start to binge.

I have no other outlet but on here. My mom is 75 and I’m 36, my whole life my mom has taught me everything but how to live without her. My mom told me that all she wishes is that she’s been a good mom. Today has been depressing and I’ve been trying to work with my emotions. I just don’t kno how to handle this.