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A very personal post

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A couple of months ago something happened to me, i still don't know how to feel.

I am a 21 year old woman from europe so i'm very sorry for my english if it's bad.

A couple of months ago i went on a girls vacation to spain. one night after we were done at the club waiting outside a man sat beside me. I was drunk, very drunk. He started talking to me and rested my head on his shoulder because i was tired. At a certain point this man took my face and started kissing me. I tried to push him away, i really did. I wasn't strong enough. He had one hand on the back of my head to keep me from pulling away and the other inside my dress, inside my bra. I froze and tears started falling but he didn't stop. Another guy pulled him off me as we were still outside the club. The next day i told my sister who coincidentally stayed in that same night. She got mad at the situation, asking me why i drank that much and why i didn't just stay in with her. She tried to find a reason. I don't blame her. After that trip i have gotten scared of drinking, i intentially gained alot of weight so no one would find me attractive (i used to love my body and worked out 6-7 days a week) and i dont go out at all anymore. No one from my personal life knows except for my sister. I just feel my life getting worse and i don't know what to do. The worst part is that i keep feeling it was all my fault. I know this is not nearly as bad as what happens to other women, but it's horrible to me. I would love some advice, just please be kind.
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Mordechai · 31-35, M
Honestly I think you've taken what you consider a counter action in response to what happened but to your detriment. I think you just need to practice and establish boundaries, maybe join a martial arts gym to get your confidence back, and tbh I think most women should avoid drinking if they're not with a group of people, or avoid places like clubs because its mostly people trying to get laid

I remember I got jumped by 4 guys when I was 19 and I didn't wanna go anywhere by myself afterwards. I suffered with it for years until I actually did something proactive about it that wasn't just escapism or self loathing. It meant doing some fighting classes, facing that fear, meeting good people, and getting that confidence back.

I am sorry that happened to you, it can be dangerous for girls especially. Don't become someone you don't like because of one person.