i feel a little sad, I noticed something in me that I can't exactly fully control right now

I noticed that every time I go on here, I have this feeling of wanting to make jokes and have fun but I can't seem to do even that. I literally used to be like that. these months have been hard and I feel like a depressive episode has passed but not every symptom. I feel like a husk of myself. irl, I'm kind of similar but just pushing through and faking it. over here, theres no faking it cause there's no energy. I'm trying hard, there are just things out of my control right now even if I work hard all the time

I dunno if this was tmi, well, if you made it up to here and feel that way. welp, sorry for that