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“Be the adult you needed as a child.”

I read this somewhere and it made me stop and think for a long time.

I am thankful for kind of parents I’ve been blessed with and the kind t childhood memories they have given me.

I just wonder though if I am the kind of adult I’d have preferred to have as a child. It’s the kind of question that makes one look deeply into the family dynamics of what was and what could be.
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I try very hard to be that adult. I sure didn’t have it as a child.
@OogieBoogie I never see it as selfish at all. Yes it is easier to see others from the outside looking in, you read people very well.

Whether it is learned or passed on, still you give great advice.
@Sojournersoul Well thank you ☺️
That's very kind of you to say .

More often than not, I'm a complete cow😂
@OogieBoogie Now that is just a bunch of cowshit....😂😂😂😂😂
SW-User
💯 if only we could go back and give ourselves a hug and say, I’m here for you now.
PhilDeep · 51-55, M
I think inner child work can take five years, easily, maybe more.
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Nanori · F
I'm trying to be that for my lil sis, but I still feel the need to have real parents
@Nanori
It’s not the same, but what you’re doing for her can have positive lasting effect on how she’ll remember her youth.
My adults as a child were pretty good folks. Tried my best to carry that forward. My sons appear on track to making that a successful outcome, I'd say achieved for the oldest out on his own within a couple months of college graduation.
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@Husher I agree .
common social Parenting expectations are based on being a tyrant and a bully :
"Do as I say, not as I do "
"Coz I told you so"
" While you're under my roof you do as I tell you"...
....it's a cop out .

REAL mentoring and parenting is tailored and teaching.

We hanf down so many sins and atrocious ideas 'just because' they are clichés we absorbed growing up .
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@Husher Nope, I'm not religious.
Bought up like that, but it never sat well within my conscience.

I think we just fall into into it . That we have these expectations of what 'parenting' is , and some never question it .
WillaKissing · 56-60, M
I was raised rough and with harsh bloody beatings as a child and only stopped those myself when I was 16 years old and strong enough and made mean enough to stop them myself.

I raised my children with love and kindness instead of what I had.

I believe you would be a Beautifully awesome mother coming from and knowing the love of your parents.
TexChik · F
That is exactly what I am doing. Emulating what my adoptive parents did and passing on their wisdom and some of my own.
Reject · 26-30, M
I think most people do that out of necessity. It’s not something you get a choice in.
WandererTony · 56-60, M
I read a variation. Be the boss you needed. Makes sense.
SW-User
I have always strived to become likt the adults I looked up to as a child. (=
Degbeme · 70-79, M
That has been me since reaching adulthood. Grow old, but never grow up. ;)
Madmonk · M
This is excellent advice.
Umile · 41-45, F
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
Yeah, my parents fell short in some respects with my life education, as did schools.

Like when I got sick and had to deal with my insurance company. My father berated me for not knowing how things work. I replied that you never taught me this growing up, and we never covered it in school. I was not born knowing it. Sheesh. I also said, why act like that? Why not just teach me how it is?

I want to not be the pain in the ass that my father was and still is.

As for health insurance, I suppose I could defect to Canada. I wish it were tropical, though.
@JoyfulSilence
Your Canada comment made me smile. It’s cold here and we live in igloos. 😅
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
@CookieCrumbs

It is below freezing right now. But sunny. My back car window had ice crystals on it.

I am out early for a doctor appointment. But I am at Dunkin' Donuts right now for breakfast, first.
Coldplay · 61-69, M
I love this.
SW-User
Jexie · 26-30, F
Oh I don't think anyone is the adult they want to be ....or need .
Everything' is a juggle of what you want and what you can 🤷

Do we really know what we need ?
Shit ...we are lucky if we know what we want.
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
I love this, it’s a good way to put it. I needed someone strong and who would protect me.
empanadas · 31-35, M
Yeah when I have kids I'm going to make sure they don't suffer like I did
@empanadas
No kid deserves to remember their childhood with suffering and pain. Hugs to you.

 
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