“Be the adult you needed as a child.”

I read this somewhere and it made me stop and think for a long time.

I am thankful for kind of parents I’ve been blessed with and the kind t childhood memories they have given me.

I just wonder though if I am the kind of adult I’d have preferred to have as a child. It’s the kind of question that makes one look deeply into the family dynamics of what was and what could be.

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Sojournersoul · M

I try very hard to be that adult. I sure didn’t have it as a child.

Umile · 41-45, F

@Sojournersoul 💪 💪 💪

Sojournersoul · M

@Umile staying strong.

OogieBoogie · F

@Sojournersoul Sometimes not having something, leads you to strive to be better.

Like, I appreciate th negative aspects of my father because he so blatantly showed me what NOT to be.

I resented it for years, but now I see it as a gift.

Sojournersoul · M

@OogieBoogie So true. I learn more what not to do, then i ever learned about being a man from him.

OogieBoogie · F

@Sojournersoul And that's a good thing I think.
I mean, what is a man ?
To people this means different things....and so many of those things are still abberations we need to deconstruct from a time when people 'played' parts."Big boys don't cry", "take the lead", "be the head of the household " ....all rubbish ....all unhealthy .

So maybe it's good he never taught you to be a man ....this way you get to be a human being🤗

Sojournersoul · M

@OogieBoogie How did you get so damn smart? Agree and i think a pretty good one at that. 🤗

OogieBoogie · F

@Sojournersoul 😂...I fuck up a lot 🙄🤗

Sojournersoul · M

@OogieBoogie But you learn from it and pass it on to those who need it. 😊

OogieBoogie · F

@Sojournersoul Honestly, in a way it's selfish what I do .
I mean, it's always easier to see others from the outside ....not ourselves.
We can see through the idealism and social bullshit cos we aren't hanging onto past hurts.

The thing is, we gravitate to what we know.
So....

...sometimes when we give advice, it's advice we need to hear ourselves.

And frankly, not all of it is my own ....I just pass on what someone has given to me 🤷

Sojournersoul · M

@OogieBoogie I never see it as selfish at all. Yes it is easier to see others from the outside looking in, you read people very well.

Whether it is learned or passed on, still you give great advice.

OogieBoogie · F

@Sojournersoul Well thank you ☺️
That's very kind of you to say .

More often than not, I'm a complete cow😂

Sojournersoul · M

@OogieBoogie Now that is just a bunch of cowshit....😂😂😂😂😂