I've been doing a deep dive on attachment styles recently and it's pretty spooky how nearly all of my problems can be traced back to my childhood abuse and neglect. I feel so powerless. Like one of Pavlov's dogs that has been programmed to react the way its master intended it to act.

I'm trying to break away from all that conditioning, but it's hard. Sometimes knowledge isn't enough and you're just four bald tires spinning fruitlessly in the mud.

I think when you're just so helplessly lost in life, the only thing you can do is to go with the flow and hope the current leads you somewhere more promising. Swimming against the current is just going to wipe you out