On the edge

I never thought the damage my mother did would have such an impact on my life. Her beatings, emotional abuse, narcissism right up until the minute she passed two years ago. To this day i have nightmares about her. Im so freaking messed up. Then theres my husband whos cheated, been half a father and does maybe 5% percent of what a husband should. Add in my kids health issues and now mine and i feel like im going to lose it. When i close my eyes all i wish for is a peaceful feeing in my soul. Ive never had that.