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When is the age gap too much?

I'm wondering what standards everyone has when it comes to age gaps. When is older too old?

Fantabulous · 46-50, F

My husband and I have a 13 yr age gap...I wish I had have listened to the warnings...the age gap didnt matter much until we had kids and he was 40 and I was still in my 20s...

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Temporallube · M

@Fantabulous oh wow. I’ve never heard of that type of conflict in an age gap relationship.

But it does make a lot of sense. It’s like two different clashing ideologies manifesting.

I’m open to age gap relationships. I think I’d probably won’t have that scenario.

Fantabulous · 46-50, F

@Temporallube Well many things, more than just the age play a part...so I am sure many have worked...I just personally know so many that haven't.

Platinum · M

@Fantabulous I'm sorry it's not worked out...some older people are much older than their years and that would affect any relationship...

FreeSpirit1 · 51-55, F

The 22yr old who is banging me said there isn't one...he's right. 🤭😁

decemberween · 18-21, F

@FreeSpirit1 lol

SW-User

It's up to the people involved in the relationship to decide. As long as people are consenting adults, imo.

SW-User

@SW-User B.A

4meAndyou · F

I was 17 when my 28 year old first husband, (the school photographer in my high school), got my telephone number off my senior proofs. I was a very ill informed 17, and had no idea about pedophiles and pervs...but he was both.

I think it depends on the character of each person involved. If a female is too young or too innocent, I think she should stay away from men who are 10 years older, or more.

decemberween · 18-21, F

@4meAndyou yes it really does depend on the people

Mamapolo2016 · F

For others, as long as both are over 18, it's none of my business. For me, I would not choose an involvement with anyone more than ten years younger. Sometimes involvements just happen...

decemberween · 18-21, F

@Mamapolo2016 they do just happen, i don't get how you can stop them to haha

Mamapolo2016 · F

@decemberween You CAN stop them, but mostly we don't want to. 😁

decemberween · 18-21, F

@Mamapolo2016 hahahah you're right, better put it that way lol

RandomForest ·

Mmmmmmmmm. I do plus or minus five years. That gives ten years of people. That's a lot of people.

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decemberween · 18-21, F

@RandomForest yeah, I get it

RandomForest ·

@decemberween Now sexwise. Anyone willing and legal.

decemberween · 18-21, F

@RandomForest sounds good

goldenorchid · 46-50, F

There is no correct answer, I'm ten years younger than my husband, we met when I was 20,it all worked out for us.
My brother met his wife to be at 26,she was 16,ten years age gap was too much.

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

@goldenorchid would you date me? 😚

goldenorchid · 46-50, F

@MartinTheFirst I tend to only date people I've spent time with, it saves a lot of time/grief/disappointment.

Platinum · M

Depends on how mature the younger partner is, my daughter married a guy ten years younger and he was very immature and it never worked out....I would think around eight years maximum...

eMortal · M

Both must be 18+

Then this applies

Older
------ <= 1.6
younger

The ratio of the age of older person divided by younger must be less or equal to the golden ratio.

Northwest · M

Are these consenting adults, with no pressure applied on them?

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Northwest · M

@decemberween Conducting a relationship in secret is bad idea. That's their first clue that they should consider what they're doing. You have not stated the particulars (age difference, education levels, income levels, how they know each other, etc.). Also, what kind of relationship and relationship goals.

decemberween · 18-21, F

@Northwest probably it's because it's not really a relationship yet... it has not been defined, probably because of the age gap or the other issue i said earlier

Northwest · M

@decemberween Embarrassment? There's got to be a reason for this. If the thinking it's a long term thing, then the person should be thinking 10 years out. There are some very valid reasons why cliches are cliches, and it's not just because they're considered taboo by society.

SW-User

There's a generation gap between me and my husband. Some days it's noticeable.

decemberween · 18-21, F

@SW-User was it hard at the beginning?

SW-User

@decemberween No. But now we have a kid together there's a difference in upbringing and expectations. Both from completely different family styles.

decemberween · 18-21, F

@SW-User oh I get it, thank you

bijouxbroussard · F

As long as the younger partner’s of legal age, it’s no business of anyone’s on the outside.
But within the relationship, they may find that they’re at different points in their lives, in terms of goals. The older partner may be ready to settle down, while the younger may not yet be.